Are you kidding me?
THIS is what east coasters like Gregg Easterbrook and who knows how many others have raved about for years?
You’ve gotta be kidding.
“Can’t wait for Five Guys!” is what we’ve heard dozens of times.
“Ya gotta try Five Guys!”
“Five Rocks! It’s so much better than In-N-Out.”
Well, no, it isn’t.
Our meal was, to be kind, a low-budget theatrical event of the third order…by which we mean the fries were a farce and the burger a tragedy. And the hot dog wasn’t much better.
All of it was consumed amongst blaringly white light and a bare-bones decor that makes In-N-Out feel like Le Cirque.
That burger was loosely packed (we’ll give it that) and bland beyond belief. (Okay, perhaps that’s a bit harsh, but it had none of the well-seasoned beefiness we were looking for.) At least the bun was soft and squishy and the government cheese on it was passably smooth and cheesy — as low-rent, American cheese is wont to be — but that was about it in the plus department.
All of which led us to the conclusion that places like Five Guys succeed because they are the anti-franchises, read: they are not McDonald’s or Burger King, so for that, we are grateful.
But if you’re looking for a tasty burger of this ilk, go to Smashburger…or In-N-Out.
Because unless you live down the street from it, there’s no reason to trek 15 miles to Eastern Ave. (as ELV did on Saturday night), to eat a burger (and soggy, fresh cut, fresh fried potatoes devoid of potato flavor*) in surroundings with all the charm of a bus station.
FIVE GUYS BURGER and FRIES
10271 South Eastern Ave.
Henderson, NV 89502
* A rare and inexplicable feat of nature.