FIVE GUYS Falls Flat

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Are you kidding me?

THIS is what east coasters like Gregg Easterbrook and who knows how many others have raved about for years?

You’ve gotta be kidding.

“Can’t wait for Five Guys!” is what we’ve heard dozens of times.

“Ya gotta try Five Guys!”

“Five Rocks! It’s so much better than In-N-Out.”

Well, no, it isn’t.

Our meal was, to be kind, a low-budget theatrical event of the third order…by which we mean the fries were a farce and the burger a tragedy. And the hot dog wasn’t much better.

All of it was consumed amongst blaringly white light and a bare-bones decor that makes In-N-Out feel like Le Cirque.

That burger was loosely packed (we’ll give it that) and bland beyond belief. (Okay, perhaps that’s a bit harsh, but it had none of the well-seasoned beefiness we were looking for.) At least the bun was soft and squishy and the government cheese on it was passably smooth and cheesy — as low-rent, American cheese is wont to be — but that was about it in the plus department.

All of which led us to the conclusion that places like Five Guys succeed because they are the anti-franchises, read: they are not McDonald’s or Burger King, so for that, we are grateful.

But if you’re looking for a tasty burger of this ilk, go to Smashburger…or In-N-Out.

Because unless you live down the street from it, there’s no reason to trek 15 miles to Eastern Ave. (as ELV did on Saturday night), to eat a burger (and soggy, fresh cut, fresh fried potatoes devoid of potato flavor*) in surroundings with all the charm of a bus station.


10271 South Eastern Ave.

Henderson, NV 89502


* A rare and inexplicable feat of nature.

19 thoughts on “FIVE GUYS Falls Flat

  1. I’m an East Coaster, and for the most part, I agree with your assessment of Five Guys. The burgers are better than BK or McD’s, no doubt, but they’re still fast food. I wouldn’t say they’re any better or any worse than In-N-Out though (never tried Smashburger). But I think I remember them being a good deal more expensive than In-N-Out.

    I don’t like the fries. Somehow, they’re overcooked yet still soft, limp. Maybe the way they pack them in a paper bag to steam. BK or McD’s win that battle easily.

    For the better burgers and fries, stick to Burger Bar.

  2. Sorry Cuz, but I liked Five Guys burgers and hotdog.

    Better than In-N-Out? Yes, fo sho…and by alot, but Ive always been that odd man out who never really liked In-N-Out anyway.

    Better than Smashburger? Hit and miss I suppose. Thats like comparing BurgerBAr and Holsteins…flip a coin.

    I do agree that the fries are not that good. McD’s still the champ there.

    As far as driving way out to the easside if you live way out in the westside, they are suppose to open one at the Arroyo soon. Otherwise, go to Fatburger for now, which I like…alot.

  3. Like anything that makes its way to vegas, it’s usually never as good as it is somewhere else. I don’t say that to be a vegas hater, I live here by choice afterall, but it seems to be unfortunately pretty true. Back east we don’t have in-n-out. I guess you could say 5 guys is our in-n-out. Haven’t been to 5 guys here yet, but back east it’s always a great burger and fry fix. There isn’t really anything outstanding about the burgers at 5 guys, for that matter, I can say the same about in-n-out. I would put the burgers on par with each other, but the fries at 5 guys have always been fantastic (and a huge portion) whenever I’ve had them. I attribute the tasteless fries to simple vegas misfortune. Many of us living here know what that tastes like, but I wouldn’t write 5 guys off because of it.

  4. I suppose if you like peanuts thrown on the floor, limp fries, and soggy, untoasted buns, you’ll like Five Guys. And you’ll probably also be lured into their marketing schtick that the potatoes are sourced “locally” and will thus be delicious. (As if the term “local” has any bearing whatsoever on the ability of the cook to fry potatoes properly, i.e. pillowy, potatoey in the center, crisp and golden on the outside).

    I live in the heart of Potato Country in the Northwest. It’s a crime that the local Five Guys sources such wonderful Russetts from the fields around , only to see them end up like a bouquet of limb Easter Lilies. And they taste as limp as they look.

  5. John:

    Have you been able to try “Create burger & shake” over on Lake Meade and Tenaya. Much better than smashburger IMO

  6. Agree with this review, except 5 guys makes McDonalds taste good in my opinion. I trekked over to Eastern to try this on opening day, and was literally the worst fast food hamburger I’ve ever tasted.

  7. I have been there 3 times since it opened [including a final time today], and each time I was hoping it would get better. No such luck. Besides what you noticed, the cajun spice fries has almost no salt in them, and a hint of a spice flavor. Nothing else, not even a sign of crispiness in their undercooking.
    I shall not return.

    Fortunately there is TOMMY’s 2 blocks away on St. Rose.


  8. I have not been to the Vegas 5G, but I have been to the original (gone now) and a number of the first ones and franchised ones in DC/MD/VA and quality is pretty even as much better than the other chain burger joints. Bonus plan on the unlimited toppings, although they can smother the small burger. Fries are usually great, but sometimes they do hurry and limp it home and the cajun cannot cover c-rap fries.

    I don’t see the need to zip over there as there is so much to choose from LV.

    Norman in Kingman

  9. Seems like a snooty lawyer with an appitite.
    Lazy…no new posts for 3 days. Surely he has eaten by now?

  10. After they took over the spot where the old and awesome Pied de Cochon was at in Georgetown, I considered them off limits.

  11. Kieth,
    The supplies take up badly needed room for tables. The couple of times I went in there [like ELV, I wanted try them several times before I gave them a ‘never again’ verdict] , the wait to sit down at an open table & eat, was longer than the line to buy food.

  12. Spot on, ELV!

    I accidentally stumbled into a Five Guys in Tempe, AZ last fall. Only afterwards was I met with how much hype surrounded this place, and I kept thinking to myself, “For what?” The food is mediocre at best. Comparisons aside, let’s look at it for what it is–burgers cooked to the point where all beef flavour has left the building (which is probably why the place SMELLS so much better than it TASTES!!), and fries that manage to taste like potatoes left over from a few months ago.

    I suspect that fans of this place, from the east coast or not, simply haven’t anything better to eat.


  14. I love In N Out. While I disagree with parts of the review (I loved the 5 Guys fries) I agree that 5 guys is a. not worth driving from Summerlin or more than 3 miles for and b. and there’s no way that $10.89 for A small cheeseburger, small fries and a drink can beat $6.65 for a #1 with a large coke.

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