Even though it was published over a year ago, we just finished The Food Snob’s Dictionary by David Kamp and Marion Rosenfeld (2007 Broadway Books) — given to us this Christmas by Anthony Robert Curtas — The Official Number One Son of ELV — a k a our staff. It’s a fascinating, funny, must-read for any food snob or food snob wannabe worth their fleur de sel.

Just for grins and giggles — and because it seemed like the ultimate food snob thing to do* — we thought we’d point out the glaring omissions, annoyances and mistakes contained therein (along with credit given (Forgiveness Factors) for some of the many noteworthy things also within its pages):

1) Lucius “Luscious” Beebe may have made his mark as a “society” writer for the New York Herald Tribune in the 1930s and ’40s, but his food fame came from his columns for Gourmet magazine throughout the 1950s and early ’60s. Further offense: not using a better quote to define the king (and queen) of early American food writers. Our favorite: “I simply want the best of everything and there’s very little of that left.”

Forgiveness Factor: Subtly dissing the collected works of the insufferably sensitive and painfully sensual Ruth Reichl.

2) Two other crimes: the complete omission of Clementine Paddleford or Duncan Hines…despite the fact that the latter sold his name to a cake mix.

Forgiveness Factor: The description of how morbidly obese French gourmand/writer Curnonsky died by falling out a window.

3) While Julia Child is given proper treatment and a breezy, short biography; it bears mentioning that, although important to the growth of American gastronomy in many ways, she was neither French nor a chef — a fact that didn’t keep her long-running PBS television show from being named just that, i.e., The French Chef.

Forgiveness Factor: Nailing Thomas Keller and his food in less than 100 words.

4) The description of extra virgin olive oil as “…having fuller MOUTHFEEL and flavor than regular olive oil.” As any olive oil aficionado can tell you: maybe it will and maybe it won’t. Depends on the country, the harvest, the olives used, their ripeness, the producer, the freshness factor, etc.. If you don’t believe us, ask Dan Flynn Executive Director of the UC Davis Olive Center (www.olivecenter.ucdavis.edu) or Dr. Ermino Monteleone of the University of Florence.

Forgiveness Factor: Having separate entries for MOUTHFEEL and FLAVOR PROFILE.

5) Overuse of the adjective: “poncey,” whatever that means…

Forgiveness Factor: Reminding the world that “poncey” dudes Richard Olney and Jeremiah Tower once had an affair.

6) And what the hell is: “…(a) chronic case of the twees…” as in: “…(M.F.K. Fisher) rescued culinary writing from its chronic case of the twees –” ?

7) A complete shank in describing the Scoville Scale for measuring the heat of peppers. The Scoville Organoleptic Test measures the dilution factor of capsaicin in measurements of 100,000 units — not on a scale of 1-10.

8- A. J. Liebling (“Joe” to food snobs everywhere), never “settled” in Paris. He lived there for a couple of years in the mid-1920s, and was stationed there as a war correspondent during WWII, but that was it. He was an inveterate Francophile though, and his last words were in French.

9) Failure to mention Jean-Louis Palladin’s last five years in Las Vegas — where his Napa Restaurant in the Rio Hotel (1994-1999) was a seminal event in the growth of the Las Vegas restaurant scene.

Forgiveness Factor: For the following shout-out: “Chef (Rick) Moonen got us off to a rollicking start with PEI mussels in a piquant, lemongrass-infused Thai broth.”

10) Omitting any mention of the Robot Coupe v. Cuisinart licensing wars over the selling of food processors in the United States in the late 1970s and early 80s.

Forgiveness Factor: Admittedly not much in hindsight, but it was a big deal back then.

11) The book mentions that Gilbert Le Coze died in 1994 at the age of 49 of a heart attack. The worst kept secret in the New York food world is/was that the high livin’ chef died during an alcohol and drug binge.

Forgiveness Factor: Let the dead R.I.P.

Further Forgiveness Factor: ELV is no stranger to binges of all kinds.

12. While being downgraded to a 17/20 rating by Gault-Millau may have contributed to Bernard Loiseau’s suicide in 2003, so did a number of other, more important factors. (As Rudolph Chelminski so thoroughly explores in The Perfectionist-Life and Death In Haute Cuisine-2005 Gotham Books.) Also, saying Gault-Millau has “…ossified into an institution as implacable and anxiety-stoking as (the) Michelin (Guide)….” is giving it way too much credit. That may be true in France (we doubt it), but the last time G-M had any clout in the U.S. — Ronald Reagan was President.

Forgiveness Factor: A brilliant (if way too short) list of what to hate about the Zagat Guides.

13) ELV knows and loves a number of French chefs — real, honest-to-goodness frogs — with the accents, talent, charm and sex drives you’d expect from these rakish fellows, and never once, in fifteen years of traveling and being around them in France and America, have we ever heard any of them pronounce “Turbot” (“TUR-bo”) as “TER-bit.”

Forgiveness Factor: Identifying the predilection of food snobs to turn nouns like “mise en place” into verbs; ex: “Honey, I’ve meezed everything for Julia’s supremes de volaille a blanc, now all we need is for our guests to arrive.”

14) Finally, the most grievous, unforgivable offense of all. In describing Nouvelle Cuisine, the authors write that it “…placed a premium on letting the ingredients taste like what they are,” without properly attributing this quote to 17th Century French cookbook writer Nicolas de Bonnefons in his seminal 1654 cookbook: “Les Delices de la Campagne” (“The Delicacies of the Countryside”).**

Duh! I mean who doesn’t know that?

And they call themselves food snobs….

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* To do likewise, go to www.snobsite.com or e-mail the authors at nitpick@snobsite.com after you buy and read the book!

** Any old snob can quote the thing. A real food snob has a copy.