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ELV ain’t no paparazzi, but media credentials do give you something of a front row seat for these things, and with the white suit on, we basically walk around like we own the joint and get away with murder.

And by “murder” we mean being able to walk around and act like we own the joint.

So that’s just what we did Friday night at the grand opening of Lagasse Stadium in The Palazzo, for what was billed as The Ultimate Tailgate Party, and which  consisted of a bunch of celebs parading down the green carpet to be interviewed by a phalanx of press who, no doubt, asked them questions that the whole world was, no doubt, dying to know.

Rather than hang with the hoi polloi, we at ELV got inside the ropes for some up close and personal contact with the Entourage boys…and found them remarkably friendly…and short.

Rex Lee (Lloyd on Entourage) is a wee fellow, and acts in person just like he does on the show; Kevin Dillon is a skinny, chatty dude with no ‘tude, and Jeremy Piven is all head.

And by “all head” we mean Piven’s head is so big:

- It has own weather system;

- It has its own zip code;

- It shows up on radar;

- It looks like a half-shaved coconut sitting on a toothpick;

- When his dad was teaching him to swim, he put him in the water and he turned upside down;

- Buffalo consider him a kindred spirit;

- If you put his head on Lagasse’s body, there would’ve been a fire code violation;

- He moonlights as a drive-in movie theater;

- (insert own joke here).

Later, we talked with Chazz Palminteri and found him remarkably friendly…and tall.

We asked him if it was true what we’d always heard about him and DeNiro in “A Bronx Tale” – one of ELV’s favorite movies — about how Bobby D. was originally supposed to play the heavy, and Chazz was to play his own, bus-driver father.

“No, I don’t know where that got started.” he said. “Bobby was always on board to play my dad, and Sonny was always the role for me.”

“So the story I’ve heard and been telling people for 16 years is wrong?” ELV asked.

“‘Fraid so.” was his reply.

That’s the last time we rely on the National Enquirer for all our movie star information.

What about the food you ask?

We wouldn’t know about that because mostly we were looking at the cheerleaders.

And once we got a glimpse of Bruce Jenner’s face, we lost our appetite.