Archive for the ‘Events’

Vive La France! Happy Bastille Day!

July 14, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Events No Comments →

Vive La France! on News 3 With Kim and Dana Wagner

July 11, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Events, Wake Up With the Wagners 4 Comments →

GUY FIERI Gets It Done

May 29, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Chefs, Events, Food, Openings, Reviews 5 Comments →

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When you’re a human cartoon, it’s tough to be taken seriously.

When your pedigree springs from the louche environs of UNLV and the middle-brow banality of Johnny Garlic’s (not to mention those dens of sophistication: Sacramento, Santa Rosa and San Jose, et al, (wherein this franchise fits like stretch pants on a soccer mom), serious gastronomes consider your cooking  (if they consider it at all) unworthy of their time or calories.

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The Hater’s Guide to Golf

April 10, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Events 6 Comments →

ELV note: The author claims he has been following the PGA Tour since 1966 and once sported a solid 10 handicap. He also said he once shared a smoke with Tom Watson, and played a round with Raymond Floyd — who didn’t bother speaking or looking at anyone for four straight hours. We at ELV think it only appropriate to re-publish it on the first day of that most elitist (and whitest) tournament in the world: The Masters.

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THE HATERS GUIDE TO GOLF
By Seymour Dubsdread

Ah yes. It’s springtime. When a white man’s fancy turns to…..golf?

Yeah, fucking golf. The only racist/sexist “sport” left that gives old, rich  white guys a chubby the same way a large caliber firearm does a redneck. If you’re the sort that gets misty-eyed every time you hear Jim “Whitebread” Nantz give a hummer to the Chairman of Augusta National (behind the lush dogwoods and flowering azaleas, of course) , stop reading now.

But if you see the sport for what it is: a bought and paid for playground for plutocrats in bad pants, then read on. You might be amused.

Why do we hate golf so much, let us count the ways. To begin with there’s…

Golf coaches/Golf gurus/Golf psychologists

Johnnie Carson once asked Winnie (Mrs. Arnold) Palmer:

JC: “How do you get Arnold ready for a big tournament?”

WP: “I wish him luck and kiss his balls.”

JC: “I bet that straightens his putter out.”

These days, you will find lots of balls being licked on the PGA Tour, and two types of people on every driving range of every professional golf tournament in the world – the guys actually playing, and a legion of coaches, flacks, swing doctors, life coaches, Zen masters and gurus of every stripe — all there ostensibly to help the players groove their swing and get in the right mind-set to “compete at the highest level.” You know what none of these frauds and charlatans can do? Actually swing the club for the player in the tournament.

You know who never had a golf coach or “sports psychologist” beside them through every stroke of their career? Hmmm, lets see….

Old Tom Morris

Young Tom Morris

Every golfer who ever lived named Tom Morris

…not to mention:

Francis Ouimet
Harry Vardon
Bobby Jones
Walter Hagen Jr.
Gene Sarazen
Dr. Cary Middlecoff
Ben Hogan
Arnold Palmer
Sam Snead
Byron Nelson
Gary Player
Lee Trevino
Johnny Miller
Tom Watson
Jack Nicklaus

…just to name a few.

Of course, whatever stupid, overpaid, over-coddled “athletes” do with their spare time and money is their own business, but it’s a testament to how corporate, wimpy and overstuffed pro golf has become that an entire cottage industry has developed around supposedly helping them win.

You wanna know how to win at golf? Be good at it already and practice. Alone. A lot. Because when you’re standing over an iron shot or crucial putt on the 72nd hole, there ain’t gonna be anyone there to talk to but yourself. And even if there were, none of them can tell you how hard to hit it.

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Eating Las Vegas to Merge With Yelp

April 01, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Critics, Events 8 Comments →

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If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em.

Yep, food fans, it’s true. After a year of teeth-gnashing, conference calls and caterwauling, Anthony Curtis, Al Mancini and ELV issued a joint press release yesterday announcing that EATING LAS VEGASThe 50 Essential Restaurants would be sold to Yelp in order to facilitate the publishing of a new 2015 edition and expand the brand.

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Savoring the Sweet 16 on My News 3

March 29, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Events, Food, Wake Up With the Wagners Comments Off

ELV: Now that the University of Louisville has suffered a (select one:  bonecrushing, gut-wrenching, ego-deflating, gonad-shriveling) defeat at the hands of hated Kentucky, ELV is barely able to crawl out of bed this morning. Those of you still interested in the (select one: stupid, juvenile, overrated, sophomoric, commercial-driven, corrupt, made-for-television freak show) NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament might want to watch this….but what’s the point? ELV is retiring to his hovel with a bag of Cheetos and a quart of Maker’s Mark for the day. That is all.

SAVORING THE SWEET 16

(Best Sports Bars)

Pizza Rock – 201 N. 3rd Street

Todd English P.U.B. – Aria Hotel and Casino

Aces and Ales – 3470 S. Nellis Blvd.

Steiner’s – Multiple locations

Lagasse Stadium – Palazzo Hotel and Casino

The UNLVino Rad Off-The-Hook BLOWOUT ‘14

March 15, 2014 By: mitchell Category: Events, Food, Wine 1 Comment →

Hold on to your most radical of hats, bros and broettes, firmly by the brim, and make that red sucker turn a three-sixty, then another 120 degree turn, COUNTER clockwise!  Yeah, that’s right, screw time!  That’s a concept we won’t be needing where we’re going, which is NOW.

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It’s Restaurant Week 2014!

March 07, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Deals, Events, Food, Wake Up With the Wagners Comments Off

Be there or be Three Square!

ELV’s Top Picks for Restaurant Week:

1) Eiffel Tower Restaurant – $30.14 Lunch

2) Buddy V’s – $20.14 Lunch; $30.14 Dinner

3) Delmonico – $30.14 Lunch

4) MOzen Bistro – $30.14 Lunch; $40.14 Dinner

5) Morel’s Steakhouse & Bistro - $20.14 Breakfast; $30.14 Lunch; $50.14 Dinner

Other denoted notables for delicious deals and dynamite dining:

Table 10

AquaKnox

Poppy Den

Empress Court

Hakkasan

Honey Salt

Lawry’s The Prime Rib

Rick Moonen’s Rm Seafood

Todd’s Unique

Verandah – Four Seasons Hotel

Stewart+Ogden – The Grand Hotel Downtown

Mesa Grill

Hank’s Fine Steaks and Martinis at Green Valley Ranch Resort

Culinary Dropout

Bar + Bistro


Happy Chinese New Year!

February 05, 2014 By: John Curtas Category: Events, Food, Reviews, Spring Mountain Road 8 Comments →

ELV update: Since posting this review, we’ve returned to 1900 Asian Cuisine twice and encountered laughably poor service on both occasions, as documented in our “Letters of the Month-Hospitality Hell” post above. (It was atrocious even as measured against the relatively low bar set by ethnic Chinese restaurants in general.) As a result of these unfortunate experiences — ranging from a non-existent waitstaff to half our order being unavailable or forgotten about — we can no longer recommend the restaurant. For the masochists among you, read on and let us know if things change.

1900 Asian Cuisine Reigns Supreme

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In celebration of the Year of the Horse, we at ELV thought we’d do a little celebrating of our own by proclaiming the the new holder of the coveted “Best Chinese Restaurant in Town” title.

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Our Favorite Italians

December 09, 2013 By: John Curtas Category: Chefs, Critics, Events, Food, Travel 1 Comment →

In Italy, the whole country is a theatre and the worst actors are on the stage. – George Bernard Shaw

Dario & Faith

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Dario Cecchini and Faith Willinger are two Italians of a different stripe.

Cecchini — the Master Butcher/Intellectual of Panzano – has been called the world’s best butcher. (“To beef, or not to beef?” is his rallying cry.*)

Willinger is a born-again Italian who has spent 35 years exploring Italy, from its Alps to Sicily, searching for the best food this giant, slurp-worthy isthmus of eatability has to offer. (“Good wine and bad wine have the same amount of calories.”  is one of her sayings.)

And let me tell you my friends, you can do a lot worse in an evening than sharing a ginormous bistecca a la Fiorentina:

6 lb steaks? I'll take two!

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…with these two mavens of meat at a ristorante. In this case that ristorante was CUT last Thursday night — where they both were on hand to kick off the Venetian/Palazzo’s Italian Food Festival.

Cecchini was his usual ebullient self:

Old friends in 30 seconds

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….in fact he (along with some ginger friend of his in orange clogs):

The trouble with Italians is they have no personality

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….practically defines the term.

And we bonded with Faith (a lady whose guidebooks we would never think of going to Italy without) like we were old friends in a matter of minutes:

We heart Faith Willinger

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Yeah, Italians, born-again or otherwise, are like that.

Just about the friendliest people on earth.

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* To beef! …and then not to beef… is his answer.