ELV’s Major Award Diminished By Offspring’s Actual Accomplishment

It was a big week for awards around the ELV household.

ELV (aka John A. Curtas — Attorney to the Stars), with eyes closed and gut hanging out…was recently awarded Ambassador of the Year honors by the Clark County Bar Association at a luncheon at Morton’s Steakhouse in which he was the only lawyer (out of more than a hundred in attendance) who actually drank any wine. (So much for attorneys being the besotted barristers they’re often portrayed as.)

While this was going on, Hugh Alexander Curtas, recent magna cum laude graduate of the University of New Mexico, received first place (and a financial prize) for his essay in the Non-Fiction University of New Mexico Student Review entitled: “The Critical Subject: A Poet In Philosopher’s Clothing.”

Say what?

Believe us when we tell you could read the whole thing (twice) and not understand a word of it.

Whenever the spawn of ELV starts readin’ and writin’ and cogitatin’ on such things, ELV becomes frightened and confused and usually reaches for a perfumy, intense Richebourg (preferably a ’90 or ’05), and asks for a DNA test to justify all that child support he used to pay.

And we do the same thing whenever our staff starts ruminatin’ on algorithms and aeronautics and other engineer-laden lingo — that usually has us reaching for even stronger stuff.

BTW: As rubber chicken lunches go…the prime rib, Caesar salad and cheesecake served up by Morton’s was mighty fine indeed. You could do a lot worse than scheduling a lunch event at this place.


400 East Flamingo Road

Las Vegas, NV 89169




2 thoughts on “ELV’s Major Award Diminished By Offspring’s Actual Accomplishment

  1. I love your column and generally agree with your observations and comments, however, that luncheon at Morton’s was one of the WORST meals I have ever been subjected to. The gristly, fat laden prime rib was inedible and unappealing. You are right, wine would have been a better choice. I requested and was given a substitute very rubbery chicken which was also inedible. The GM was unconcerned and practically yawned when I complained. I love my group but will never set foot in Morton’s again. You do a lot worse than scheduling a lunch event at Morton’s if you choose to eat from a dumpster.

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