Letter of the Week: What is ELV Eschewing with VEGENATION?

Dear ELV,

I saw this clip of you on Wake Up With the Wagners last Friday and immediately turned to my husband and said, “It’s only a matter of time until Curtas eschews the dark side and goes full plantal.” He said I was crazy — after I told him what “eschew” meant. What say you ELV? Is a conversion to the joys of brown rice, soy milk and tofurkey in your future?

Vegetally yours,

Wheat Germ Wendy

ELV responds:

Dear Wendy,

Here is a (short, incomplete) list of the things more likely to happen before I give up animal-based food products:

> Donald Trump takes the racoon off his head.

> The Kardashians become social workers.

> Pete Rose morphs into a human being.

> Steve Wynn transforms into but a humble servant of the Lord.

> Vegas casinos start refunding 20% of your gambling losses as a goodwill gesture.

> Caitlyn Jenner devotes his/her time to helping the hungry, in between cavorting with women who want to have sex with a man with breasts, or men who want to have sex with a woman with a penis.

> World famous DJs learn a musical instrument.

> The Food Network goes back to actually being about food.

> Someone starts giving a shit about Major League Baseball.

> My ex-wives refund all the alimony I paid them.

> A True Detective plot becomes understandable.

When any one of those things happen, you can expect to see me lining up for almond milk and chia seeds.

Until then, I remain,

Carnivorously yours,


….but still a big fan of VEGENATION!


616 Carson Ave. #120

Las Vegas, NV 89101



6 thoughts on “Letter of the Week: What is ELV Eschewing with VEGENATION?

  1. Some people are challenged by hot-and-spicy food. Others by exotic meats and/or offal. I’m challenged by vegetarian food, and from what I’ve seen and read about VegeNation, I’m looking forward to the challenge.

  2. Vegan is “food” only in the sense you stuff it into your pie hole
    and it comes out your anal pore in a softer more pliable form the next morning as last evenings bill of fare!

  3. I tried the vegan sandwich at Subway yesterday, the Malibu Delight or something like that – a rice and vegetable patty, topped with all their veggies and a roasted tomato sauce. It was actually OK. I would recommend it with the Swiss cheese.

  4. The veggie ramen at Monta Chaya on South Eastern is a top ten vegan dish in the valley.

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