ELV’s Staff Rolls Into Spring

ELV, like his assistant, put on a little weight over the winter:

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So, his other assistant, at the point of a gun:

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…insisted they start eating healthier. And by healthier we don’t mean “healthy food” — because “healthy food” is a grammatical misnomer, because food, by the time you’re eating it, is pretty much dead.* No, by “healthier” we mean dishes like those at Crazy Pita:

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…where the Mediterranean and Moroccan offerings like yummy hummus, Moroccan squash and good salads and sandwiches are made with a minimum of fat and a maximum of flavor.

Try as we might, though, she keeps looking the other way:

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…so there’ll be no thong song for her this year.



2225 Village Walk Drive #175

Henderson, NV 89502



* Except oysters and a few other oddities.

9 thoughts on “ELV’s Staff Rolls Into Spring

  1. As much as I enjoy reading your articles and viewing your pictures, the way you occasionally mock the physical appearance of others is a pretty big turn off.

    I wouldn’t think someone with such sophisticated tastes would have such a juvenile sense of humor. Maybe you should buy a new white suit for your soul.

  2. Never mind the unfortunate woman in the wheelchair. What’s up with the woman in the painting, and her cleavage? She looks like she has softballs, inserted into sweatsocks, tied around her neck.

  3. Leave my girlfriend alone!! I think the real concern is Did she make it across the street safely?? Because if not that would be alot of shit to scrape off the road.

  4. Anyone know what BP is?

    Back in the construction working days, we would refer to certain gals as above as BP. BP is Buttpussy. I love buttpussy.

    and to ugly guy, I really dont hink JC is sophiscated. He is just a schoomzeur. If you really read his work, he mocks both that the shit and the shit that smells like roses.

  5. Where does ELV comment about this picture? Nowhere. It was ELV’s attempt to bring to light his need to lose his “winter weight” Could he have used a different photo to make his point? Sure. Was ELV a little insensitive? Possibly. Was he trying to be hurtful? ABSOLUTELY NOT! This is just another example of political correctness taken to the extreme. In the words of Sargent Hulka: “Lighten up, Francis!”

  6. I really do enjoy most of what I read on this site

    ELV is overweight, this is fact.

    Just like the overweight people pictured on this site ELV lives to eat

    Very hypocritical behavior to say the least

  7. Healthy, happy Henderson! If ever you find yourself in downtown Henderson, One 55 Water a City Cafe is a wonderful addition to our little city. Delicious, healthy and a breathe of fresh air.

  8. Posting pics of a woman who is handicap and over weight is really classy! Classy like anouncing yourself at restaurants so you get a free meal. Hey laywer boy, I assume you have this woman’s concent to be posted on your website, right???

  9. God people are uptight. I think the pictures are great and hilarious; keep’m coming. I guess it’s okay to show Paris Hilton eating a cheeseburger in a swimsuit, but the second someone posts a picture of an overweight and lazy woman (hence the scooter) crossing the street, everyone gets their panties in bind. Who was really eating the burgers? Paris or the overweight woman?

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