John Curtas is …

MASTRIONI’S

Generic Italian restaurants have about as much appeal to ELV as the National Finals Rodeo.

And for that last statement, we apologize to the NFR.

But into them (the restaurants not the rodeo) we trudge, expectations low, our banal barometer at the ready, hoping against hope that someone will have the passion and the talent to bring off food that, even in a tiny way, approximates what Rao’s dishes out night after night.

And night after night, in restaurant after restaurant, our worst fears and hackneyed hopes are confirmed and then dashed.

Exhibit # 379 – Mastrioni’s.

Sandy clams, gristly Bolognese and a seafood Arrabbiata drowning in red sauce make for a meal that is guaranteed to put our staff in a bad frame of mind.

Each left ELV muttering to himself: “What a waste of a nice looking restaurant.”

And confirmed three maxims ELV holds true to his heart: 1) Americans will eat anything on a noodle; 2) especially if it’s smothered in tomatoes and cheese; and 3) the reason Italian-American food is so popular is because it is the only “cuisine” in the world that can be done badly and still be edible.

Exhibit # 380 – The not-so-tasty-snaps above.

Thinking of going to Mastrioni’s? We’d recommend you hit the rodeo instead.

The meal you see above, with a single glass of almost off wine, came to $100 (including a $15 tip), and wouldn’t have been worth it at half the price.

MASTRIONI’S CAFE

3330 South Hualapai Way

Las Vegas, NV 89117-7716

702.367.7511

http://www.mastrioniscafe.com/

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10 Responses to MASTRIONI’S

  • It looks like as another embarrassment from the very long list of american eye-talian abominations in our town. Will it ever stop?

  • Yes, when a Greek opens one up.

  • This place is one of those that you might try once and never again. It’s a shame too because it’s a 10 minute walk from my house and, if it were even remotely decent, would be a place we’d go a couple of times a month just for its location. But the food is terrible…and expensive. Never again.

  • I too live within a 10 minute walk of Crap-strion’s and this place is awful.
    I can only assume it is a money laundering front for the mafia otherwise I cant understand how this place has survived serving such below average food.

    Twice I’ve eaten at the counter that allows you to look into the kitchen and watch the cooks prepairing such Italian delights as Chinese Chicken Salad and Tilapia! Why this kitchen is on display is beyond me. The cooks should be wearing paper bags over their heads out of shame for the dreadful food they are sending out.

    From the “about” page on the Mastrioni’s websight: He has a great flare for sautéing which requires the right amount of decarmelizing and spice control to make every dish a consistent mouth-watering work of art. TRANSLATION: The chef likes feed his guido ego by making flames while he cooks in his open kitchen so he can draw attention from the sparsely populated dinning room. The only thing the chef has a great flair for is serving poorly seasoned food.

    Let me guess Chef, you friends and family have always told you that you make the best food ever and you are such a great chef, right? Of course they have. Well they have done you a huge disservice.

    Nice looking restaurant, but the food is deplorable.

  • What a disappointment. Don’t know how to make a drink and the food is mediocre and not cheap. Why would I possibly go back?

  • Some Itailians can cook. They use good ingredients and take pride in the dish. These guy’s are cavonnes! Sloppy and cheap restaurant owners. They are another disgrace to good italian food. They will be closed soon. Also, Sienna is gonna close too. Mexican guys cannot cook, period. Unless it is hamburg.

  • An acquaintance of mine owns a very successful Italian restaurant in Los Angeles. I commented on how excellent his restaurant captured the essence of Italian cuisine and asked which part of Italy the chef was from.. The Chef was from Sicily but wasn’t in. So, he showed me a line of Mexican cooks. I laughed, and he said they may be Mexican, but they have Italian hands….. Reality.. These are the guys cooking in the back at most fine restaurants and not the uber-chef you may think.

  • YIKES! If I did live remotely close to this place, I probably wouldn’t bother. But since I’m out on the other side of town, I really won’t bother. There are enough lousy “Americanized Eye-talian” places here in Henderson that I must blithely ignore and pass by (on the way to the few truly good spots around here).

  • This is outrageous–I have been a customer and fan of Mastrioni’s for 15 years. This is true New York Italian food. The food is fabulous, the place is beautiful and the service is comfortable and perfect. He has the best italian and seafood in town. Best Cioppino, best Marsala in town. Best everything!!

  • Mike, you are a retard, really!

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