John Curtas is …

Newscasters Gone Wild!

It all started innocently enough with ELV and his staff:

…seeking to squeeze a little art ed-gee-kae-shun into their pre-prandial booze routine:

But such thoughts lasted as long as an ELV vow of celibacy…especially after we dropped into Beso, and the champagne started flowing:

So ELV looked around the room:

…and noticed the gals taking secret snaps of a faded fifty-something at the bar who thought flashing butt-cleavage was in order for women of a certain age:

So being the responsible one, he thought some food was in order:

…but that didn’t help matters much (as the steak and mac ‘n cheese weren’t exactly top drawer) so we suggested heading to a different venue. But before you could say “Eva Longoria-Parker,” the gals had taken over the dance floor at Eve:

…which just made us thirstier.

So we headed to a brasserie:

Run by a guy named Puck, where intrepid, KLAS TV reporter Calvert “Don’t Mention My Cleavage” Collins began interrogating WP Executive Chef John LaGrone, in her best Columbia School of Journalism manner:

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, a cadre of cocktails were being created at Brasserie Puck‘s swanky bar:

…by mixology masters Gene Hetzel and Brandi Hackett:

…and some tasty food was served:

But, by this time, this group was about as interested in eating as it was in discussing the Smoot-Hawley Act of 1933.

Throughout, Emmy-Award winning Denise Valdez of Channel 8 news acted as the group’s one and only mature adult:

Gene continued to pour and instruct:

…and ELV had his usual:

Denise took tasty snaps of everything in sight:

…but in all the hubbub and hooch, everyone forgot it was The Food Gal®’s birthday:

Chefs soon got into the act:

….and someone had to remind Calvert she wasn’t in the Tri-Delt house anymore:

Before long, ELV was practicing his white man overbite with CC and Eric “Disco Boy” Villareale:

…which means he had about this much to drink:

…and it was time to call it a night:

…and take a designated driver home (which everyone did).

Gam bei!

The end.


In Crystals at Aria (a title that tells you nothing)

3720 Las Vegas Blvd. South

Las Vegas, NV 89109


One Response to Newscasters Gone Wild!

  • Poor Calvert Collins. Is this why I didn’t see her on Channel 8 this AM? ;-)

    Otherwise, it’s nice to see that The Food Gal had a happy b-day.

    Oh, and I guess my suspicions on Beso were confirmed. Sigh, another hot mess from Todd English…

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