Let’s deconstruct ELV’s performance on this morning’s Dishing and Dining with Denise Valdez shall we?

He says: “Most prettiest…”

He has the world’s worst French accent — even when he’s faking one.

His hair looks like sh*t. (Thankfully, the director noticed and kept the lens at a distance.)

He was too lazy to throw on a tie. (Actually, he was too busy to run to the dry cleaners.)

His outfit clashes with Denise’s.

A beret would’ve been nice.

Or a pasted-on, thin mustache.

He uses the adverb “very” about a dozen times in ninety seconds.

And says: “…kind of a pheasant dish…” when that’s exactly what it was.

He also misnames sweetbreads as the hypothalamus rather than the thymus gland…then catches himself and states (erroneously) that “You can’t get sweetbreads (presumably anywhere in town)…,” when, in fact, they’re served at a number of places in Vegas — including: Le Cirque, Guy Savoy, L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon, miX, ALEX, et al…

On the bright side, at least he kept his knees together and didn’t gesticulate wildly…as is his wont.

But we’re guessin’ Mr. Emmy ain’t callin’ anytime soon.

To salve the wound of having to watch his performance, here’s a video you might find more enjoyable.

Mama mia…give me a sangria!