Just what Vegas needs: another lousy Eye-talian restaurant — in a hotel and mall (Caesars Forum Shops) already crawling with them.
At least we can take comfort in knowing this one has been around since….wait for it….1990!
And who among us isn’t excited about “wow-sized portions” served “family-style.” According to its Website, it’s these homey little touches that make….”any meal feel like an Italian American wedding feast!”*
You can practically hear cholesterol counts going up…even as culinary standards nosedive.
And money counted.
Opening in….oh, who gives a shit.
* ELV has been to many an Italian-American wedding. All you get is loads and loads of baked fucking ziti. Tons of it. Cubic yards of the stuff. Along with cafeteria food, you also get to endure every goomba family defending the honor of their nonna’s version of baked fucking ziti like the Crusades were started over it. The competition is never about taste, since it all tastes pretty much the same, but instead over who brings the biggest tray. (In case you haven’t figured this out by now, pilgrim, Eye-talians value quantity over quality in just about everything they eat. Na mean?) All you ever have to do to find out why Italian-American food is so bad is to go to a few Italian-American weddings. The only thing worse than the manners and the music is the baked fucking ziti.