The bacon burger costs $17. It came properly cooked, but under-seasoned to the point of seasoning invisibility. The standard burger was equally bland and had the appearance and mouth feel of a pre-packaged frozen patty. On the plus side, it only cost $10.
Our dining companion, the Burger King of Vegas, the Grand Pooh Bah of Burgers, the Aficionado of Angus — a man who lives for hamburgers* the way Liz Taylor did for diamonds — found his to be “gummy in the mouth” and “not in the same league as BLT Burger or Burger Bar.”
We both liked the soft, squishy bun, and admired how the kitchen cooked each exactly to order — one medium rare, the other medium well — when we weren’t admiring the rack on one of the waitresses.
He like the deep-fried pickles. ELV found them greasy…and hardly “The World’s Best Fried Pickles” as advertised. Heck, they aren’t even the best fried pickles in Vegas. Memphis Barbecue’s beats them by a country mile.
And then there were the “mac ‘n cheese nom noms” — devoid of macaroni (more like a deep fried cube of thickly breaded, melted cheese) and accompanied by a small bowl of innocuous cheese sauce — containing the vaguest hint of Parmesan cheese. For this indignity he paid $6.
Those grease traps masquerading as cucumbers came to $5, and the entire meal set Burger Man back a cool $54 ($47 + $7 tip), including one soda and one water. As we were leaving ELV was grateful (sort of) and inquisitive:
“Thanks for lunch, but pretty crappy burgers, huh?”
“Yeah,” he murmured, “but at least she had nice tits.”
I ♥ BURGERS
In the Shoppes at The Palazzo
* If he wasn’t so big, ELV would call him Wimpy.