Memo to Self: Self, Remind Yourself Not to Attend

ELV note: The only thing more ridiculous than an ad campaign based around the limited appeal of a goomba, Soprano-wannabe is an meatball-eating contest targeted at the meatballs, pudwacks and douchebags who think such a thing is cool. Jay Louis, Las Vegas needs you! It begs you to properly mock these stains upon the human condition, and the protein-ingestion-fests that attract them.
Competition Takes Place at Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino and Open to the Public
LAS VEGAS (Oct. 21, 2010) – On Sunday, Nov. 7, a host of top-ranked Major League Eaters including Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, will face off at the Masquerade Village Stage inside Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino for the second annual Martorano’s Masters Meatball Eating Championship. The Major League Eating-sanctioned contest will take place at 12 p.m. and the public is invited to attend. The winner will be distinguished as the Martorano’s Masters Meatball Eating Champion and take home the grand prize of $1,500 cash and a monogram “M” necklace courtesy of Steve Martorano. Second, third and fourth place will take home $750, $500 and $250, respectively.
Defending champion Joey Chestnut, the No. 1-ranked eater in the world, will look to top the 50 2-ounce Martorano’s meatballs he ate in 2009 when he steps to the plate on Nov. 7. Earlier this year, Chestnut won his fourth consecutive July 4th Hot Dog Eating Championship in addition to racking up world titles in burritos (47 in 10 minutes), bratwursts (42 in 10 minutes) and pizza (41 slices in 10 minutes).
The 10-minute contest will feature Martorano’s world-famous meatballs prepared by Cook/Owner Steve Martorano. In an effort to fully honor and respect Martorano’s meatballs, competitors must use a knife and fork during the contest, a stipulation that will further test the skill of the eating professionals. Additional contestants will be announced as they become available.
“I’m very excited for the second annual Martorano’s Masters Meatball Eating contest. It will be amazing to see if Joey Chestnut can win again,” said Steve Martorano. “This is not just another eating contest; the combination of using utensils and the incredible taste of my world-famous meatballs is enough to slow down even the fastest eater.”

8 thoughts on “Memo to Self: Self, Remind Yourself Not to Attend

  1. Wow, for someone who hates it so much, you sure are giving this contest an awful lot of attention, ELV. Admit it, you really *Luuuvve* this contest, don’t you? Nyah Nyah;-)

  2. What, ELV not up for a local sausage fest.

    Any body hear the beginning of that Joe Rogan comedy CD, when he starts fucking his friends ass – but hes not gay. Reminds me of these guys.

  3. The use of utensils to, and I quote, “fully honor and respect Martorano’s meatballs” really classes up this event and brings competitve eating to a whole new level.
    As we know, competitive eaters, with the exceptions of weddings and Easter, rarely use knives and forks in their daily lives choosing to live the lifestyle 24-7.
    Truly, putting eating aparatuses in their hands is akin to forcing world champion cricket players to wear gloves.

  4. Okay, so they’re knuckle-draggers. But thanks for finally putting up some hot male bods for a change. This female reader’s heart’s all a-flutter! Umm… did you talk about food?

  5. If only Joel Robuchon sponsored a Major League Eating contest – the Pommes Puree Championship – he would get the recognition he deserves. Alas, he remains unknown, unwanted, unloved. A poor mashed potato of a man.

  6. They should have a foie gras eating contest.
    Do it for the children – teach em the meaning of irony.

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