No More Tuna!

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Before we praise Masimilliano Campanari‘s food at Osteria del Circo, and describe to you in loving, intimate detail why we think his new menu has catapulted Circo back to the top of Italian restaurants in Vegas, first allow us this rant:

If one more Vegas chef puts one more piece of tuna in front of us in one more restaurant….WE’RE GOING TO STICK A FORK IN OUR EYE….and then throw it and a knife at him or her.

Tuna, in all its forms…is soooo 1999. Besides being endangered, it is hackneyed, banal, tired, overworked and over-servedĀ  to the point of being a utter, complete and total waste of space on any menu and on any plate.

Plus, it tastes boring. What distinguishes a $100 piece of prime otoro belly tuna from a cheaper cut, is the more expensive the grade, the less taste it has. That’s a fact about a lot of expensive Japanese food. Weird but true.

In other words, tuna jumped the shark a long time ago.

You chefs need to GET OVER USING TUNA!!!!

By that we mean:

> no more tuna tartare;

> no more seared tuna;

> no more crusted tuna this or marinated tuna that;

> no more tuna “crudo;”

> no more tuna rolls or tuna sushi or tuna sashimi;

> no more tuna ANYTHING!

“But that’s what the public wants,” you chefs say?

ELV says: “F*ck the public!” They didn’t know they “wanted” so much f*cking tuna until it started appearing on every f*cking* menu in America. Stop it.

All of you.

Now.

Use your friggin’ imaginations…or hire a sous chef that has one…and start using a different fish.

Or, how about this: Try composing an amuse bouche (or starter course) with vegetables!

Whatever…STOP USING TUNA!

And if you’re having trouble getting ELV’s point, just think of it this way: You can tune a piano, but don’t tuna fish.

End of rant.

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* ELV apologizes for his screaming and profanity, but there’s a species’ life at stake here, as well as interesting eats.

9 thoughts on “No More Tuna!

  1. I couldn’t agree more. When tuna tatare with chunks the size of dice becomes barfood at a not to be named bar with 100+ kinds of beer someone has to say “STOP THE MADNESS!!”

  2. this was long over due. Baravo
    I just had some low grade meally texture tuna at NU this weekend; their table side tartare. Nice try, no prize.

  3. Being angry at serving tuna / bluefin is a fad as well. Get over yourself and your self-righteous ranting.

  4. I compare caesar salads to tirimisu; its nice to try each retaurants take on those classics, which can be heavenly or butchered to death.

  5. Thank you ELV, you made me feel better. I had tuna the old-fashioned way today-out of a can, dressed with mayo and served on white bread.

    Oh, and note to Norville-get over your self-righteousness.

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