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“Chinese food 101 this is not,” was Slapsie Maxsie’s comment to me as we were wolfing down some of the spiciest and most authentic Southwestern Chinese food in town.

“This is exactly the way this food tastes in China,” was his other observation (in between fighting ELV for the last morsel of each dish), and we at ELV were (once again) prideful for having discovered it, and leading him to the promised land.*

We couldn’t get Max to try our favorite dish on the menu — the deep-fried intestines** — and we didn’t make it to the pig’s ears, but the stir-fried lamb with chilies, celery with smoked tofu, and chicken with fresh bamboo shoot stew (covered with a heavy slick of chili oil), were mighty fine indeed.

Our lunch for two, with tip, came to $40.

J & J SZECHUAN CUISINE (We’re not sure if they’re calling themselves “J & J” or just “Szechuan” these days, but we’re going with it)

5700 Spring Mountain Road # A

Las Vegas, NV 89146-8861

702.876.5983

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* “There are two things all Jews know: suffering…and where to get good Chinese food.” — My Favorite Year (1982)

** Something about him being on a diet or something. Max Jacobson dieting is like ELV swearing off snark. It may work for awhile, but eventually, our better (or worse) natures will get the best of us.