….but what ELV and his staff are really looking forward to later in the day is all the eating and drinking we’ll be doing.

Actually, we’ve already polished off three sugar cookies, some dynamite banana bread, a couple of Rice Krispie Treats, and brownies (courtesy of Clark and Tracy Paris — neighbors and Official Friends Of ELV), and a glass of Veuve Clicquot….

At the risk of sounding like someone who actually cooks, instead of taking all their meals in restaurants, ELV must comment on the Col. Bill Newsom’s Kentucky Country Ham he has in the oven — because if you’ve never baked one, you’re missing one of the great aromas in all of food. Its salty, fatty, cured, porcine essence can be smelled down the street, and is right up there with fresh bread, bacon and chocolate chip cookies as one of the most olfactory-pleasing kitchen scents in the world.

But the real reason for this post is to give you a few holiday “toasts” should you be called upon, later in the day, to be poignant, witty, reflective or glib — whilst sober or otherwise.

So here are some of Santa’s favorites:

A Christmas wish, May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Holly and ivy all hung up, and something wet in every cup.

Here’s to the day of good will. Cold weather and warm hearts. (Much too sentimental for ELV, but we’d thought we’d toss one in…)

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year, a pocket full of money, and a cellar full of beer.

May you live as long as you wish, and have all you wish as long as you live.

Eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart. – Ecclesiastes 9:7 (Much too religious(?) for ELV, but hey, it’s Christmas!)

Drink and be merry, for our time on earth is short, and death lasts forever.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.

To our wives and lovers….may the two never meet.

I drink to your charm, your beauty and your brains, which gives you a rough idea how hard up I am for a drink. – Groucho Marx

If you have an appetite for life, stay hungry.

And some of our favorite short toasts (all are some form of either “drink up,”eat well,” or “Dup dor a’az Mubster”*):

Kali orixi (callie-OR-ix-ee) – Greek

Kanpai (can-pie) – Japanese

Skoal – Danish

Oogy wawa – Zulu

Prost – German

Gam bei (gam bay) – Chinese

A votre sante (ah-voe-tra-sahntay) – “to your health” – French

Gay-ola – Asturian

L’Chiam – “to life” – Hebrew

HO HO HO and Happy Holidays! from Santa and his staff of…

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

* “Live long and prosper.” – in Vulcan (Duh!)