Happy New Year 2012!

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If you’ve never been on the Strip on New Year’s Eve, you’re missing one of the great events in America. Of course ELV, having no interest in mingling directly with the hoi polloi, does not practice what he preaches, preferring instead his preferred perch provided by the good folks at Serendipity 3 — where a bird’s eye view of things was achieved without actually experiencing any physical contact with the unwashed masses.

After the big countdown, and an even bigger meal at Old Homestead, we repaired to Restaurant Guy Savoy for some hearty shots of sugary Chartreuse, and then to the yearly after-party at Circo, where we focused on women’s cleavage for the rest of the evening (tasty snap #9).

Just thought you’d like to know.

Happy New Year!

What I’ve Learned: Women Taste Like Oysters

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If you have an appetite for life, stay hungry.

You are no better or worse than anyone else. You are not as good or bad as you think you are either. These were the two most important lessons my parents taught me.

What someone thinks about when they masturbate is probably as kinky as they’re ever going to get. (I learned this the hard way.)

The older you get, the stupider sports become.

Fame is a drug.

If you’re not playing them, sports are a colossal waste of time.

All religions start with the cry “Help!”

Golf and sex are the only two things in life you can be terrible at and still enjoy.

Never bet on anything that eats.

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