ELV Readers: Almost on cue, this e-mail popped up in our mailbox this morning (11.17.08). It perfectly illustrates the phenomenon we commented on last week (and offers some tasty bargains at the MGM — if you, as a local, are willing to go there).

If you haven’t heard or seen for yourself, the restaurants of Las Vegas are hurtin’ critters. Click here to hear ELV expound upon this unfortunate fact in the indelible intonations for which he is known, or continue reading if that’s how you prefer to educate yourself on this weighty matter:

Belt-Tightening Time

Louis Osteen threw in the towel for good two weeks ago, Andre’s downtown is history as of New Year’s Day, and Joseph Keller’s Bistro Zinc quietly shuttered last month.

Expect more of the same in the coming months (including some high profile closings in The Palazzo) as the boom-boom restaurant years die a slow and noisy death.

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At the Jean Louis Palladin Foundation dinner at Andre’s Sunday night, it was formally announced (by Rochat himself) that upon the re-opening of Andre’s at the Monte Carlo that Andre’s Downtown would officially be closing. Andre stated that after years of serving guests 24/7 it was finally time for him to “go fishing”…

ELV has also been informed that Joseph Keller’s Bistro Zinc  at Lake Las Vegas has closed, and that Louis Osteen has thrown in the towel and closed Louis’ at Town Square.

ELV fears this is the start of some major downsizing in our restaurant industry….and therefore shall refrain from sniping sarcastiscally, snarkily or sardonically, or shoveling the satirical sagaciousness for which he is known.

…but thankfully, not Louis’ – the more formal, bastion of superior South Carolina Low Country cuisine across the hall. The Fish Camp was the larger, more casual Louis Osteen operation that sported Zelda’s Bourbon Bar, Dixieland Jazz Sundays, truly awesome crawfish etouffe and shrimp jambalaya….not to mention crazy-good crab cakes, superb po-boys, and great gumbo. It seems the folks frequenting the Town Square Mall preferred the straight-from-Sysco offerings of Blue Martini, or (God help us) whatever the Tommy Bahama Cafe is dishing up, to the real thing. We haven’t been able to reach Osteen for a comment, but wish him and his crew all the success as they soldier on, against all odds, cooking authentic, creative food for a crowd who keeps looking for the food court.

SeaStone — the abominable sushi/fusion joint that was located at the site of the former (slightly less abominable) Hannah’s — that itself was the failed successor to Tre — the Maccioni’s less-than-marvelous-multi-Mediterranean attempt — has closed after less than a year in business. ELV thinks this third failed restaurant at the corner of Fort Apache and West Charleston (in less than five years) officially dooms this location for any quality eats for a long time to come. Expect the next food service biz there to be a cheap-ass Asian buffet — the last stop on the shitty restaurant real estate train.

If DJT had had as many customers as it does people willing to write superlatives about it, it would still be in business. ELV was blown away by all the love and commentary generated by our simple post of last week that the fine dining concept was kaput after four months. But obviously, enough people received a taste of it to know why we were so disappointed.

For the last(?) words on the topic, I’ll leave you with this exchange between DJT’s (now departed) chef de cuisine David Varley and The World’s Greatest Restaurant Critic:*

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