Archive for the ‘Rant’
What Vegas Needs Is…
ELV note: Click here to read today’s feature in the Las Vegas Weekly on a dozen or so things some of us think would vastly improve the quality of life in our humble burg. For your information (and ease of digestion) of this discerning, delectable, diverse degustation of a discussion, here is our dutiful diatribe:
Way more good Mexican restaurants
Without naming names, it’s pretty easy to call Las Vegas the Southwest’s leader in dumbed-down, south-of-the-border food. (more…)
Dressed For Success (again) at LE CIRQUE
“Whaddya mean we’re not dressed right?” said these fellers* as they wandered in off the casino floor looking for a bucket of wings:
“I mean, fer chrissakes already…that guy in the corner over there…”
“…thinks it’s okay to let everyone see his entire, pasty-white, unbuttoned chest….and he got a seat!”
“Yeah,” thought ELV to himself, “but at least he’s with a nicely dressed lady…and doesn’t look like he just got back from a hunting party.”
And then we wondered what sort of dude wanders into Le Cirque looking like they got lost on their way to Buffalo Wild Wings…and felt more than a tinge of sympathy for the job Manager Ivo Angelov does convincing slatternly sorts (who are invariably men between the ages of 25-40) they might be more comfortable elsewhere…and thereby quietly and diplomatically protecting his restaurant from looking like a sports bar.
* As imagined by ELV as he sat barely out of earshot.
GILLEY’S Chili
Anything too stupid to be spoken is sung. – Voltaire
What’s the point of ELV enduring the endless, mind-numbing, soul-stealing stroll through Treasure Island (or TI or whatever the f*ck they’re calling it these days) to eat a bowl(s) of stew that was certain to be shameful?
Why, for old time’s sake of course! Plus the fact that a good bowl of red is about as rare as surströmming in these here parts.
SOYO BARSTAURANT – First Bites
Tired of the same old, same old Korean food? Bored with bibimbap? Jaundiced about jjigae? Had it with haejangguk? Then consider Soyo Barstaurant for some good ole fried chicken, Korean-style.
In ELV News…
ELV has been feeling a bit under the weather lately, so his postings have been few and far between over the past few days.
And by “few and far between” he means non-existent.
BLUE RIBBON – Word to the Wise: Skip the Fish
No one can take advantage of you unless you first give them permission. – Marcella Ruth Schroader Curtas*
Does this look like a $350 meal to you?
We didn’t think so either.
STEAK ‘n SHAKE Ain’t Always Right In Sight
The pickles used to be on top of the burger, the chili used to be greasier (and slightly less spicy), the Chili Mac was bigger, its “secret sauce” was plain ketchup, and the steakburgers were steak-ier…
JE–SUS F*CK–ING CHRIST…couldn’t they get anything right?
But the milk shake, they got right. As good or better than any you’ll taste….anywhere. It is the ne plus ultra of soda fountain shakes and it puts every other fast food “shake” to shame…save maybe In-N-Out’s.
Is ELV being too picky? Well, yeah, and we’re kind of joking too. To be fair, founder Gus Belt and his widow (who was running the operation when ELV fell in love with it in the 6os), probably aren’t rolling over in their graves over what’s happened to their creation…unlike, say, the McDonald Bros. or Harlan Sanders.
In fact, the composition and taste of the dishes we remember so well is remarkably similar to the core products that launched this operation. Where it goes off the rails is in offering everything from salads to swiss and mushroom to…wait for it….chipotle/guacamole burgers!
WTF? Is any of this necessary? Do people walk into Steak ‘n Shake looking for a *&(#%$ chipotle burger?
Imagine, if you will, leaving Las Vegas to seek your fortune in say…New Hampshire. For years you’ve been addicted to In-N-Out burgers, love the short, high-quality menu, went there as a kid, and consumed them through high school. Suddenly, thirty years later, the bigwigs running INO decide to expand to Nashua (pop. 107,217!). You can’t wait. You regale family and friends with tales of fresh cut fries and “animal-style” double-doubles. Then, salivating with suspense, you run to the opening of New Hampshire’s first installment of this iconic institution and find a salad bar, bbq and bacon and (*&^#$% GUACAMOLE BURGERS on the menu!!!! How would you feel?
Yeah, that’s how ELV felt.
Betrayed.
Steak ‘n Shake was the In-N-Out of its day. Simple. Delicious. Perfect.
Stick with the basics – the classics that made it a Midwestern icon — and you’ll get a reasonable facsimile of the tastes that made this place famous, and of the satisfaction ELV, and so many others, have secreted in their memories.
Order anything else and you’re on your own.
ELV’s lunch came to $12.78 + a $3 tip. In 1970, it would’ve cost him $1.50.
STEAK ‘n SHAKE
In the South Point Hotel and Casino
9777 Las Vegas Blvd. South
Las Vegas, NV 89183
702.796.7111 (no reservations, be prepared to stand in line for at least 15 minutes)
Restaurant reviews, quips, picks and pans-with some seriously salivating history-from the man who eats his way through Sin City every day.
