Archive for the ‘Rant’

An Open Letter to John Unwin

November 09, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Rant 26 Comments →

http://themintymusings.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/cosmo.jpg

Mr. John Unwin

President

The Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino

3708 Las Vegas Blvd. South

Las Vegas, NV 89109

Dear John,

It is with great distress I write this. I consider you a friend and colleague, and you know I hold your food and beverage bona fides in the highest regard.

You also know how much I love what you have done with The Cosmopolitan — turning it from an almost financial disaster to the most talked about hotel in town…and maybe the country. The murderer’s row of restaurants you and your team assembled on the third floor puts any aggregation of great eats to shame — save for the Time Warner Center in New York City. Foodies from far and wide have flocked there, the national food press has been effusive in its praise, and, most importantly, you have developed a strong following of locals who consider dining there one of the great amenities of living in Las Vegas.

One of the small reasons people have been so excited about your food and beverage venues is because of the ease of ingress. The access that Costas Spiliadis, Scott Conant, and you, among others, bragged to me about a year ago when touting how easy it would be for locals to come, park in the convenient underground garage, and zip up to the third floor to bar hop, table hop, restaurant hop, nightclub or whatever. And how right you were. Your parking garage has been a breeze to navigate, a joy to park in, and within steps of an elevator to take you wherever you need to be in your fabulous hotel.

That is, until a couple of weeks ago.

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Eat These Now – CIRCO’s Lamb Chops

October 30, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Food, Rant, Reviews 6 Comments →

Laudatory lamb

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These pecorino-crusted lamb chops from Circo in the Bellagio aren’t cheap ($51), but you get what you pay for. (more…)

Don’t Eat This Now – Hawaiian Food

September 27, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Food, Rant 9 Comments →

Salty meat mush with carbs on carbs with mayo

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aka Kahlua pig

Is Hawaiian food a bad joke or what?

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When Critics Attack!

September 23, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Critics, Liquor/Liqueur/Libations, Rant, Reviews 12 Comments →

ELV note: No disrespect to Gary Fx LaMorte or Sloppi Jo’s Jolene Mannina, but things get interesting around the 21:45 mark, and get really interesting around the 25:15 minute mark.

How to Ruin Breakfast

September 19, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Rant 36 Comments →

Tattoos are the mullets of the early aughts. Unlike mullets however, tattoos are there for life. And with a mullet, you can always get a haircut to rid yourself of your bad taste. Also, mullets, as red-neck-y and idiotic as they were, never caused anyone to lose their appetite.

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There is No Soy Milk

August 18, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Food, Rant 1 Comment →

Calling a Spade a Spade at TABLEAU

August 08, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Food, Rant, Reviews 10 Comments →

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Does this look like something you’d pay sixteen dollars for?

We didn’t think so either.

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What Vegas Needs Is…

June 09, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Food, Rant, Zines 8 Comments →

ELV note: Click here to read today’s feature in the Las Vegas Weekly on a dozen or so things some of us think would vastly improve the quality of life in our humble burg. For your information (and ease of  digestion) of this discerning, delectable, diverse degustation of a discussion, here is our dutiful diatribe:

Way more good Mexican restaurants

Without naming names, it’s pretty easy to call Las Vegas the Southwest’s leader in dumbed-down, south-of-the-border food. (more…)

Dressed For Success (again) at LE CIRQUE

May 22, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Rant 11 Comments →

“Whaddya mean we’re not dressed right?” said these fellers* as they wandered in off the casino floor looking for a bucket of wings:

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“I mean, fer chrissakes already…that guy in the corner over there…”

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"As a matter of fact, my chest IS better looking than hers."

“…thinks it’s okay to let everyone see his entire, pasty-white, unbuttoned chest….and he got a seat!”

“Yeah,” thought ELV to himself, “but at least he’s with a nicely dressed lady…and doesn’t look like he just got back from a hunting party.”

And then we wondered what sort of dude wanders into Le Cirque looking like they got lost on their way to Buffalo Wild Wings…and felt more than a tinge of sympathy for the job Manager Ivo Angelov does convincing slatternly sorts (who are invariably men between the ages of 25-40) they might be more comfortable elsewhere…and thereby quietly and diplomatically protecting his restaurant from looking like a sports bar.

* As imagined by ELV as he sat barely out of earshot.

GILLEY’S Chili

May 17, 2011 By: John Curtas Category: Food, Rant, Reviews 4 Comments →

Anything too stupid to be spoken is sung. – Voltaire

What’s the point of ELV enduring the endless, mind-numbing, soul-stealing stroll through Treasure Island (or TI or whatever the f*ck they’re calling it these days) to eat a bowl(s) of stew that was certain to be shameful?

Why, for old time’s sake of course! Plus the fact that a good bowl of red is about as rare as surströmming in these here parts.

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