The key to a successful restaurant is dressing girls in degrading clothes. – Michael O’Donoghue

King Hotpants recently wrote us with this somewhat miffed missive:

Dear ELV,

I guess I shouldn’t be disappointed that a critic in a town famous for its objectification of women has a regular feature that objectifies women. But I am.

Mr. Curtas, I challenge you to rise above this kind of crass sexualization and focus on food.

To which ELV responded somewhat harshly:

Dear King Hotpants,

We constantly get compliments (mostly from men, admittedly) about our Hot Hostess Watch feature. We have also, on occasion, featured Hot Hosts and Hot (male) Bartenders.

Anyone thinks ELV uses HHW to “objectify” women, ought to speak to his ex-wives. Now THEY have some stories to tell.

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She makes drinks!

She draws beers!

She serves sandwiches!

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Well, let's have one....thought ELV to himself

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Whatever “private event”  these two were hostessing at Pinot Brasserie mattered not to Eating Las Vegas. One look at their sign, and their bountiful amounts of professionalism, had him signing up faster than Al Mancini at a Suicide Girls website.

When ([politely) told he couldn’t attend the private function, he was undaunted (as well as unwilling to leave the hostess stand), and immediately made plans to return the next day for his first visit in over nine years!

To his pleasant surprise, he discovered that the beauty of this restaurant doesn’t end at said hostess stand. For his further ruminations on his meal, and the charms of the staff at this tried and true Venetian war horse, you will have to tune in later this week.

In the meantime, ELV’s newest protege will leave you to ruminate on the charms of Arpy* (l) and Angelia** (r).

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

* From Armenia

** From America (Las Vegas edition)

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….and invites you to visit her at Sage….where the grub is better than ever.

See you in a week!

Some guys have all the luck

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I’m not going to go out on a limb and say that Jaleo has the hottest hostesses in town (because, as you know, the competition is pretty stiff), but it’s a goddamned miracle that manager Justin Green gets any work done at all.

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Where oh where have you been hiding ELV?

Behind plenty of Hot Hostesses to be sure….like the lovely Jessica at Nob Hill Tavern.

We’ve also been busy on a variety of projects on different media platforms (is that vague enough for you Mancini?), and have had to let our little old blog suffer for the time being.

Beyond that, we can tell you no more.

Stay tuned though, as there are big things afoot for ELV.

In the meantime, we’ll continue to stand firmly behind the comely and concupiscent Jessica (for as long as she’ll let us):

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…and will resume reporting on the Vegas food scene (if there’s anything to report, which there hasn’t been) after Labor Day.

Right this way, ELV!

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Whenever ELV is in need of gazing upon the lovelier aspects of our humble burg, a hot hostess snap, or just a general spirit picker upper, there are some restaurants that satisfy quicker than Kim Kardashian in an NBA locker room.

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We heart Charly

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Charly is no stranger to Eating Las Vegas, but she’s so damn cute we can’t resist following her from restaurant to restaurant, snapping away in hopes she’ll let us use her digital image to beautify our little corner of the interwebs.

Some would call it stalking….but we at ELV think it’s just good taste.

In women, Web sites and steakhouses.

Thanks Charly!

Have fun in Chi-town, ELV!

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Emily is our favorite waitron at Marche Bacchus, while Ashley has appeared so often on Eating Las Vegas, she practically deserves an Irving G. Thalberg Lifetime Achievement Award for Hot Hostessing.

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Holli and Porsha get our motor running

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ELV is the sort who makes passes at women in glasses. (more…)