No matter how you slice your sirloin, Sarah is a “9+” in anyone’s book. But for some reason (perhaps even a couple of them), ELV keeps forgetting what restaurant she works in.

This hostess is so tres chaud that we were speechless after meeting her….and thus unable to catch her name.

How hot is she? Well let’s just say that Charlie Trotter could be cooking crappy cacciucco, bad buridda, and boring brodetto, and we’d still drop by, if only to be led to our seat by this personification of pisces perfection — who could make even a limp, salty old dog feel like a pesce di spina in no time.

If, as a Turkish proverb says, patience is bitter but bears sweet fruit, we can think of no better bitters than gazing upon sweet Kylee whilst waiting patiently for a table at Grape Street.

Alicia may not be a hostess, but she is one of the best (and dare we say it: extremely skilled, creative, friendly and professional) bartenders we’ve come across since we were chugging Harvey Wallbangers and Jellybeans (a redneck version of the pousse-cafe) at the OutLook Inn, in Louisville, Kentucky (circa 1978). Oh, and she’s hot too.

DOWNTOWN COCKTAIL ROOM

111 Las Vegas Boulevard South

Las Vegas, NV 89101

702.880.3696

www.downtownlv.net/

La dama es muy caliente! …is all we can think of whenever Silvia is taking us to a patio seat at the Border Grill. Chef Mike Minor may make some the best Mexican food outside of Mexico, but she could even make roasted chapulines with fried cuchuma over braised chinicuiles taste muy perfecto.

These signorinas gracing the entrance of Cafe Giorgio in the Mandalay Place Shoppes are so caldissimo that we would eat there even if Chef Nico Chessa was serving frozen seppie ripiene, stale malfatti, and mediocre minestra di trippa. What he does serve is some of the best Italian food in town.

There are many reasons to dine at NOVE — Chef di Cucina Geno Bernardo’s kick-ass Italian food being first and foremost — but its hostesses are so pleasing to the eye, that we would eat there even if he served only Monti del Gennargentu casu marzu strewn atop Mellin Omogeneizzato Struzzo.

ELV is tempted to make a bad, off color pun invoking the name of the aforementioned restaurant, but in the spirit of tastefulness for which he is known, will hereby decline to do so. But these triplets* are so cute and good at their jobs that we would eat at Yellowtail even if it served only Kagoshima natto garnished with fermented umeboshi atop finely minced sakuraniku.**

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* ELV suspects they are not related, however. Just a hunch.

** Yellowtail does not serve such items. The sushi, sashimi, and Japanese fusion food it does serve is pretty nifty.

Okay…maybe Peter Varela, the G.M. of VG isn’t exactly Ricardo Montalban (but then again, ELV ain’t no Tyrone Power either), but Nicole — definitely qualifies for our Hot Hostess Watch of the week. Showing true professionalism, she works the front bar/seating area of VG with an untiring smile, grace and skills that would make even Andalusian surstromming served on Peruvian tunnbrod with a heaping side of Sardinian lutefisk taste good.

Whenever the staff at ELV is wandering through Mandalay Bay, they always make it a point to stop by Fleur de Lys to see what Chef Steven Wolf is whipping up. As wonderful as Wolf’s food is, ELV believes even Spam on a Stick would taste good if accompanied by a smile from one of these ladies.