It may be just the tips of the iceberg, and ELV is not one to rack these things up to mere coincidence, but it seems lately that his cups have runneth over with hot hostesses who knock him out.

Never one to overtly bare his soul, ELV felt he needed to meat this situation head-on, lest you consider him an udder failure.

Moreover, as you know, we are rarely someone who milks a trend, and are no puppets to mere pulchritude. Rather, we are known fair and wide as a person who can grapple with weighty, heaving questions of suspense, and love to shine our headlights on the tissues of the day.

Lest you be all a-titter, and think we’re going bonkers or zonkers, be advised: Jessica and Marie (pictured above), came into our orb-it quite by accident, and are veritable terrific twins of hi-beam professionalism as they dart to and fro at Jean-Georges Steakhouse, making sure every customer cleaves with great mammaries.

So we at ELV thought we’d nip any gossip right in the buds, and let you know that we intend a full-frontal assault with every cannon and bazooka in our arsenal, to let you know how good these girls are at their jobs.

Thank you for letting us get these things off our chest.