
ELV note: Here is the actual, verbatim, word-by-word, multilingual conversation I had* with my friend Pedro** the other day:
Is there a better taco downtown than at El Sombrero, Pedro?
No señor, there is not.
Do these beans deserve to be in the Frijole Hall of Fame?
Si, señor, they do.
Can chicken tinga get any tangier? Chile arbol braised brisket any beefier? Achiote marinated pork any porkier?
No, no Señor Curtas, they do not.
Then why is there not a line out the door every day for this food?
Because people are EE-dee-ots, Señor John. They are muy stupido, muy tonto….and maybe because there has been major road construction going on right in front of the place for the past year.
That must be it, Pedro. But while we’re at it, have you ever tasted beans so piquant, so rich with pork flavor and spiced so right? Beans that made you forget every nasty, negative thing you’ve ever said about beans in a Mexican restaurant? Beans that were so tasty that they created a gold standard about how all other Mexican beans are to be judged?
No, senor. Tienes mucha razon! Como siempre!***
EL SOMBRERO MEXICAN BISTRO
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*in my head
**imaginary
***You are the world’s greatest food critic, sir! A titan of gastronomy! A god among mere mortals masticating their way through a mass of mediocrity! I bow to you; nay, I salute you!
Looks pretty good. Better choice than La Comids?
ELV responds: At this point, I would say yes. La Comida lost its chef, and I haven’t been back to compare, but will soon.
You tell Pedro I’m on the way to put my money where my mouth is..
Perhaps the ee-dee-ots are the purveyors of this establishment. As a loyal fan of your column, we were walking by the “new” El Sombrero around 5:30 on first Friday (Labor Day Weekend). They were totally empty, we were hungry, I was aware of their new upscale image and quality of food. Party of 7 including 3 well behaved kids. My wife to the lone man standing in the dining room “anything that the kids can eat?”. Response “No Senora, no kids menu”… Being a life long hospitality guy and fan of Mexican fate, I’m waiting for the “C’mon in, we’ll figure out something for the kids to eat”… Empty restaurant… group with kids in a restaurant that size makes the place look energized. My kids love Mexican cuisine as long as its not spicy… slap ’em together a couple of quesadillas, get me for full price food and drink… turn the table in 45 minutes (before the old snobs show up… my kids know how to behave in a restaurant), everyone is happy. Crickets… “Ok, perhaps the wife and I will come back one day without the kids”(if you’re still around). Walked the extra 5 minutes to Casa don Juan… passable bistec, burritos, margaritas, and quesadillas… table turned in 45 minutes… $150 bucks in Don Juan’s pocket that’s didn’t go to the sombrero (would’ve been more at El Sombrero but we weren’t price sensitive)
Jack,
If your kids are well behaved, and love Mexican cuisine, there should have been no need to ask your quest at all. And there should have been no need for a kids’ menu in that case. I think your question should have been “Can you make dishes mild?” Spice can be adjusted, whether it’s for an adult or a child.
ELV responds: We don’t spend much time on customer service anymore, simply because we are so well known to so many establishments. Dining with kids hasn’t been our thing for almost 20 years, so we REALLY are not sensitive to those issues.
That said, you probably should’ve just gone in and sat down, just as the staff should have made you feel welcome from your first peek in the door.