Eating Las Vegas to Merge With Yelp

If you can’t beat ’em join ’em.

Yep, food fans, it’s true. After a year of teeth-gnashing, conference calls and caterwauling, Anthony Curtis, Al Mancini and ELV issued a joint press release yesterday announcing that EATING LAS VEGASThe 50 Essential Restaurants would be sold to Yelp in order to facilitate the publishing of a new 2015 edition and expand the brand.

“We took a year off last year to reconsider the book and see who would be the best partner to drive sales forward,” said Huntington Press Publisher Anthony Curtis (pictured above) to a packed house of press and eager gourmets last night at L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon. Yelp executives saw the value in expanding the audience for those interested in the great restaurants of Las Vegas and the great writers we have telling the world about it.”

Miriam Warren, Yelp Executive Vice President for New Markets was equally enthusiastic and told the crowd: “This is Web-based synergy of the best kind. A quality publication like Eating Las Vegas is a feather in the cap for any publisher and by merging with Yelp we hope to integrate the best palates in Nevada with the needs if Yelpers the world over.”

ELV is remaining cautiously optimistic about this whole synergy-thing, but Al “Mad Man” Mancini was ecstatic. ” Finally, maybe I can get Curtas to pay attention to the little guy,” he said to a chorus of ‘good luck with that-s’ and ‘don’t bet on it-s.’

“It’s time we recognize who is actually reading reviews these days,” Mancini continued. “Yelpers want rad food, mind-blowing desserts, and amazing experiences, like when you’re appreciating one of Thomas Keller’s totally bitchin’ profiteroles with a porn star who is like, the queen of anal, and you’re both listening to insane licks by a guy who knows how to grimace on stage and totally destroy his whammy bar while shredding some solo and running his hand up and down his throbbing guitar. Now, that’s where our reviews will take them.”

“Exactly,” said local Yelp editor Rad Brocke. I want my meals to be as amazing as my music…like when when they put peanut butter with foie and then decorate it with a plate of like, olives, but they’re not really olives, just like Daft Punk totally hides their identities from you, and like whoa man, did he just just blow my mind with those breadsticks or what? That’s what I want to read about.”

Other Yelpers in the audience were equally enthused. “I’m tired of food snobs criticizing us,” said Nappy Ho Rinella.

Rinella — who calls herself a Goth blogger, and said she posts on Yelp under the moniker “2GorMae4U” — said she hopes the direction of food writing in America will finally take a more populist bent. “Restaurants should be about chillin’ in a place with a really cool vibe and amazing cocktails. Me and my BFFs love to party and go to all the good places but not those ones where big sweaty pieces of meat or lots of smelly fish are always coming by our table.”

Curtis (the publisher – no relation) then laid out plans for the new publication which included the book’s contents and becoming fully integrated with his Las Vegas Advisor Web site and Yelp Las Vegas.

When asked how the 2015 edition of the book would change, Curtis outlined a new review format whereby each of the professional critics will be posting his review alongside a Yelp Elite’s comments.

“What the public is hungry for is less snobbery and a level playing field in its restaurant reviews,” he said. “Therefore, we hope to balance such engorged, turgid prose as: ‘Joël Robuchon’s cooking has become more egalitarian, but no less creatively sumptuous over the decades.’ with comments like: ‘The hostess thought she was better than everyone and made us wait for a table and their were two many drink choices.'”

When asked for their response to this format change, Mancini and Curtas agreed (for once) that they didn’t care who the Yelper was as long as she was hot and liked to do anal.

8 thoughts on “Eating Las Vegas to Merge With Yelp

  1. Now Maybe JC (& ELV) will be able to go into Echo & Rig without a loaded sidearm and also to treat that little wine bar in Tivoli a bit better. C’mon JC that wine ain’t THAT bad!

  2. I admit that I laughed, but there are those of us who work to make Yelp respectable largely for the chefs and restaurateurs who deserve good reviews and the exposure Yelp offers.

  3. If you had had a good lawyer doing the deal, you would have also renamed Yelp to ELV :)

Comments are closed.