John Curtas is …

Letter of the Week – Is Too Much Not Enough?

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Dear ELV,

What do you think about food and beverage pricing in Vegas? It’s seems ridiculous. Cheap shitty bar food or decent ethnic or overpriced hotel food where cost to quality is ridiculous. What are your thoughts on this?

Signed,

Fed Up With The Foolishness

ELV responds:

How WRONG you are FUWTF! Our overpriced bar food in this town is NOT shitty. It is the best overpriced bar food in the WORLD. That’s because it is made by CELEBRITY CHEFS who sell their names and brands to these huge hotels in exchange for getting to see pictures of themselves all over town…the town they come to 3-4 times a year because they’re obligated to by CONTRACT!

MONEY DOESN’T GROW ON TREES FUWTF! That cool million (dollars, not pesos) our hotels have to pay some TV star to sully his gastronomic hands in a backwater like ours has to be made up somewhere. And that 5% of the gross they get to pocket (for gracing us with their pictures) has to be paid by someone!¬† And who better to pay it than those besotted with the AURA of a person who they (those good farmers, cowboys and conventioneers from Kansas) have seen on basic cable TV! They do this without complaint because a) they’re a better person than you are, and b) they understand and appreciate the fact that SOME FAMOUS PERSON had to part with a few, precious recipes that ONLY THAT PERSON could ever concoct in their extreme celebrity FABULOUSNESS.

Everything is priced here to convince the tourists (who, after all, comprise 97% of the Strip’s restaurant revenue) that they are having THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES! And if they pay $20 for the same hamburger they could get in Peoria for $12….IF AND ONLY THEN will they be able to go back to Paducah, or Pottstown or wherever and tell their FAMILY AND FRIENDS how much they spent in VEGAS!

On the liquor and wine front you are equally CLUELESS my friend, but for different reasons.

People like to drink. People with money really like to drink. People who are in the mood to waste money REALLY REALLY like to drink. Are you getting the picture here? Add to this mix the veneer of sophistication* that Vegas trades on and you have a delicious cocktail of pretentiousness and gullibility mixed with guile. Properly shaken (not stirred), it becomes a martini of madness — served by those seeking to exploit and swallowed by those wanting to brag.

Get it now?

You’re welcome.

ELV

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* Las Vegas isn’t about sophistication; it’s about giving the appearance of sophistication¬† to those who otherwise don’t have any.

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7 Responses to Letter of the Week – Is Too Much Not Enough?

  • Why exactly are the folks who live in Paducah going all the way to Peoria to get their $12 burgers? I’d think they could get burgers just as good, if not better, for the same price in Memphis or St. Louis, which are much closer, but I guess I’m not that familiar with the burger situation in the western Kentucky region.

  • A foodie friend is coming to town to catch-up, I am tasked with selecting a restaurant that is dynamic, comfortable and delicious. With my reputation on the line I set forth determined to prove that Vegas has culinary chops. When I select a new celebrity namesaked outpost that has been getting rave reviews the question is posed, “Isn’t there a great local restaurant that few absent celebrity chefs can compete with?” The unfortunate reality of my response is quite simply, “It’s Vegas, we don’t do things like that here.”

  • ELV responds: @Hungry4More speaks the truth, generally, but we’ll put Kabuto, Raku and Sweets Raku up against anything on the Strip.

  • I’d like to believe that eating off-Strip and/or off-”major hotel/casino” is the best way to go in the LV oasis. BTW, still appreciating that heads-up on the Japanese joint on Spring Mountain. Economical. Delish. Thanks.

  • This local is heading to Sen of Japan tonight. Delicious and quality that rivals or exceeds anything downtown. Saving a meal at Kabuto for the weekend.

  • @Hungry4more @John Curtas try Yonaka on flamingo near the strip, i had better quality here than any restaurant on the strip.

  • ELV responds: What @Audrey said…..although @Audrey, perceptive as she might be, is also not paying attention if she thinks @ELV has never been to @Yonaka — as we have covered it extensively both on this @Web site and by giving it a segment on @KSNV-TV (NBC) Channel 3 in @Las Vegas.

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