Eating Las Vegas refuses to get with the Marilyn-sanity that’s going on over this “earnest review” of an Olive Garden in Grand Forks, ND, because 1) the prose is written with all the skill and grace of a twelve year old (and for that statement we apologize to twelve year olds everywhere), and 2) there is more than a little patronizing going on with all of the fawning over an older woman who clearly can’t write and doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
For this we have been called mean by more than a few Facebook friends.
What’s mean is the media’s pretending to embrace the old gal (and celebrate her good, old-fashioned, homey values….yeah right), when the whole phenomenon started with the snarky interwebs thinking it must be a hoax because of how absurd both the content and style of the “review” was.
ELV for one, doesn’t patronize old people. He thinks they should all be herded onto a big farm in northern Nebraska, where they can frolic in the cornfields in-between their Metamucil injections. When they’re not busy breaking their hips and organizing the 73 pills they take every day, they should then amuse themselves reading newspapers and critics writing in a Surrey with the Fringe On Top-style about “impressive places,” “welcoming entryways,” and “generous portions” while they stuff breadsticks in their fannypacks and gripe about their children.
Now excuse us while we rush to the Palace Station to bump ahead of a few old goats so we can be first in line for the 9:15 am, early-bird lunch special.