Ban Tomatoes In January!

When our staff asked uber-restaurateur Mario Maccioni the other day why he was putting pinkish tomatoes on his pizzas at the otherwise fabulous Sirio, his answer was: “Because people want them.”

The nauseating nightshade fruit you see displayed above did not come from Sirio. Rather, those lousy Solanum lycopersicum, came from a Greek salad we just had at The Mad Greek on The Strip. (But those dressing our pizza at Sirio were only marginally better.)

Hard to argue with Maccioni’s logic, but it’s January for chrissakes! You’re not supposed to be enjoying warm weather fruits and veggies at this time of year! And no one can tell ELV that anyone…anyone….not even the dumbest, corn-fed, in-bred, franchise-lovin’, fanny-packin’ prole actually enjoys eating mealy, bleached, juicless and tasteless out-of-season fruit.

We’re not going all Michael Pollan on you. We at ELV aren’t trying to save the world; we’re just trying to save ourselves from being subjected to something so wrong, so-out-of season, and so unnatural that it makes these two look like a natural match.

So let’s start a chain letter or something. Or some internet, viral fad that will result in smaller carbon footprints over this fruit, seasonal eating, and a better balance with nature.

BAN TOMATOES IN JANUARY! On menus and stores everywhere!

So sayeth ELV.

15 thoughts on “Ban Tomatoes In January!

  1. Oh hell, I’ll go Michael Pollan on everyone (again). Out of season is out of sync. Simple as that.

    Oh yes, and you’re right as well. It’s not like it even tastes good, so why bother?

  2. I stopped eating tomatoes during the wintertime because of this article:

    Between December and May, as much as 90 percent of the fresh domestic tomatoes we eat come from south Florida, and Immokalee is home to one of the area’s largest communities of farmworkers. According to Douglas Molloy, the chief assistant U.S. attorney based in Fort Myers, Immokalee has another claim to fame: It is “ground zero for modern slavery.”

    – Gourmet Magazine March/2009

  3. You are just giving away business ideas for free – Why is there no one providing obscure tomatoes via indoor farming, because there has to be a market for this product in Las Vegas?

  4. there are some quality hydroponic crops coming out of florida this time of year, the quality is actually better then most in season tomatoes.

    but lets be honest here, the average tomato a consumer see’s is an over-produced, geneticaly engineered monstrosity, no matter what time of year it is. most are mealy, tasteless and usually bitter. the only time you get a great tomato is if you are getting an heirloom varietal from a farmers market.

    i guess we can thank higher education universities for all the shitty tasting produce that they have genetically altered in order to feed the ever growing masses!

    and for all you cheapskates out there that love to complain about why good restaurant food costs so much, THIS IS WHY, a chef has so scour markets to find and bring in a quality item, and that shit aint cheap!!!!

  5. WOW this John Curtis guy talks about more Boring shit the older his page gets . I Hope this isn’t how John Curtis plans on keeping his fan base . I really hope people stop kissing this retards ass listen to a real food critic like Norm!!!!!!!

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