When our staff asked uber-restaurateur Mario Maccioni the other day why he was putting pinkish tomatoes on his pizzas at the otherwise fabulous Sirio, his answer was: “Because people want them.”
The nauseating nightshade fruit you see displayed above did not come from Sirio. Rather, those lousy Solanum lycopersicum, came from a Greek salad we just had at The Mad Greek on The Strip. (But those dressing our pizza at Sirio were only marginally better.)
Hard to argue with Maccioni’s logic, but it’s January for chrissakes! You’re not supposed to be enjoying warm weather fruits and veggies at this time of year! And no one can tell ELV that anyone…anyone….not even the dumbest, corn-fed, in-bred, franchise-lovin’, fanny-packin’ prole actually enjoys eating mealy, bleached, juicless and tasteless out-of-season fruit.
We’re not going all Michael Pollan on you. We at ELV aren’t trying to save the world; we’re just trying to save ourselves from being subjected to something so wrong, so-out-of season, and so unnatural that it makes these two look like a natural match.
So let’s start a chain letter or something. Or some internet, viral fad that will result in smaller carbon footprints over this fruit, seasonal eating, and a better balance with nature.
BAN TOMATOES IN JANUARY! On menus and stores everywhere!
So sayeth ELV.