Critiquing The Critic – French Style

Francois Simon the restaurant critic for Le Figaro in Paris, is the overbearing critic to end all critics. Read this article about how insufferable he is, and then, maybe, ELV won’t seem so bad after all!

Here is an example of his blog that is very, very French, but amusing in all sorts of ways for that very reason. If you can plow through the crazy, inaccurate translations like: “These meals are trompe l’oeil. It would take days to leave the great restaurants after the snack.”(?) — you’ll see how true food snobs operate in that motherland of all food snobbery.

And then you’ll realize what a cupcake ELV truly is…

Holy Heideggerian Hangar One Batman!

According to this article in today’s NYTimes, there are eight, count ’em (8!), schools of philosophical cocktail thought presently in vogue in America. Some adherents to certain schools, like the minimalist Violet Hour in Chicago, use eight, count ’em (8!) different types of ice in their concoctions.

And ELV thought there were only two kinds of drinks: a good one or a bad one.

But then we got to thinking…not thinking in a navel-gazing, Kierkegaardian kocktail sense, but more like a John Stuart Mill empiricist; and realized that the pragmatism of drink mixing, and structuralism involved in deconstructing the elements of a potent potable, simply gives them a humanistic bent that we think Fromm (not to mention Perls) would’ve approved of.

If, like Martin Heidegger, either of those two had taken a different cocktail fork in the road, they might’ve become phenomenologist ontological mixologists. Or something like that.

ELV’s favorite cocktail bars in LV (in no particular order*):

Downtown Cocktail Room

Sensi (in the Bellagio)

Bourbon Bar (at Twin Creeks in the Silverton)

Nora’s (the original on W. Flamingo)

Restaurant Charlie (The Palazzo)

Picasso (in the Bellagio)

Fleur de Lys (Mandalay Bay)


* We’re always open for suggestions** and recommendations….but don’t send us anywhere with bouncers, a velvet rope (Bar Noir), or attitude (most nightclubs).

** Speaking of suggestions***…how ’bouts we head out tonight for a Blue Blazer?  Or maybe just join us for Vodka-Time.

*** And we just heard about Frankie’s Tiki Room at 1712 W. Charleston, and will probably check it out tonight (or perhaps in a few minutes — since it’s open 24/7).

Hawaiian “Cuisine” Explained!

Barack Obama likes the Hawaiian plate lunch….according to this article in yesterday’s NYTimes. That means he must also like cold, canned meats, eating off styrofoam, and a “plate” of fried mahi-mahi and fried chicken and teriyaki beef, all smothered in brown gravy….yummmm.

Oh yeah…and don’t forget the two scoops of white rice and a heaping side of heavy-on-the-mayonnaise macaroni salad. One Hawaiian quoted in the article thinks “…it’s really funny he still eats plate lunch. Because he’s so healthy.”

The history of these carbo-loaded lunches begins with the pan-Asian diets of Hawaii’s plantation workers in the 1880’s — and probably made a lot of sense if you were working in a field all day, or running for President. If you’re not doing either, you’ll probably end up looking like ELV’s staff.*


* And yes, he does have his own zip code, and his nickname is “Tiny Bubbles.”