Being melanin-challenged, ELV loves the website www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, and really loves the website www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com.* ELV thinks they should merge into www.hotchickswithdouchebagstuffwhitepeoplelike.com. This would save ELV the trouble of endlessly clicking back and forth between them.

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* The first one makes you smile to yourself and say: “That’s soooo true.” – something white people love to say. The second one makes you laugh so hard you’ll embarrass yourself ; something ELV has no qualms about since he discovered www.mulletsgalore.com years ago.

FYI: The link to the ABC News’ Secrets of Iron Chef America article on its website has now been corrected. It no longer connects to an article on Lindsay Lohan’s bi-sexuality (something ELV admits must’ve been a Nabakovian Freudian slip), and now reflects the admittedly less perverse but still viscerally fascinating subject of what really goes on behind the scenes of ICA.

ELV regrets the error….but not that much.

For another view of ICA, check out this link, calling the whole production a sham (Iron Chef America, not the question of Lindsay’s sexuality.) It isn’t. Within the bounds of producing a time-sensitive cooking contest, the production is about as faithful to the end product as it ever could be. The Amateur Gourmet who writes that website is just that.

And muchos gracias, molto grazie, merci beaucoup and xie xie to uber-food-guy Dean Howard for the heads-up on both items.

If you don’t think bad manners and worse dressing are the rule rather than the exception in restaurants these days, then you haven’t been paying attention. So I thought a refresher course in dining do’s and dont’s might be in order for all of you gents (and ladies) who think un-tucked shirttails, baseball caps, visible anal floss and appetizingly demure tramp stamps are acceptable for the world to see in a nice restaurant.

Ladies of course, are also guilty of dressing like they’ve never seen a mirror, and, even when they’re lookin’ might fine, of letting boyfriends and husbands look like slobs when they go out to eat.

Continue reading “A Gentlemen’s Guide To Dining Etiquette”