Dear ELV,

I am a single, attractive woman in her 30’s, professionally educated, financially stable, well-liked by her peers, and some would say well-endowed. (more…)

More like Comment of the Week, but @Vegas Dave nails it when he writes:

Glad to see another fine establishment has opened downtown ELV. But truly, downtown has a looooonnngggg way to go before anything is “starting to happen” there (other than the prelude to an afternoon tryst.)

In the spirit of trying to jump-start this mostly vacant scrap of desert, I’ve come up with a few slogans that our fine councilmen and women are free to adopt:

Downtown Las Vegas:

“Home of Zappos- the shoe company”

“You won’t have to walk far”

“Come for the drinking, stay forever”

“Visit our family friendly mob museum”

“Enjoy our block and a half”

“Coulda been a contender”

“Our homeless are nicer”

“Try our five great bars and restaurants”

“Pick up some crap at First Friday”

“Neglected since 1952″

ELV responds:

Well said @Vegas Dave. ELV has been saying the same thing, in print, in speeches, and on the radio, for years. All the excitement about downtown is overblown in comparison to the size of what’s actually happening, but the Union Plaza’s resurgence should help….and, let’s face it, you’ve gotta start somewhere. Hope springs eternal.

Dear ELV,

Having personally watched you consistently get comp’d meals by these so called “gems” on the strip – that you have so negatively made clear that local Las Vegas can’t replicate … my conclusion is that you only write favorably when 1) you’re getting a free meal 2) are kissing ass to the people who are giving you these free meals 3) are getting you’re ass kissed by the restaurant in order to get a positive review. It’s so transparent.

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Dear ELV,

My girlfriends and I love to check-out the latest & greatest bar and restaurant scene together for a “Girls’ Night Out” type of thing. Therefore, we tend to descend upon hot spots like a posse in a group as large as 8-10 peeps. Occasionally, we catch the condescending look from the wait staff when we ask for separate checks.

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Dear ELV,

I’m in something of a quandary and perhaps you can help. I have been a discerning, Franco-phile, Ital-o-phile, well-traveled, gorgeous gourmand for most of my adult life. But now, after two divorces and a few financial setbacks, I’ve been forced to marry below my station in life. (more…)

Dear ELV,

As I am preparing to leave this town after 5 years here, I have realized a few things (about our food scene) especially on the Strip…

There is nothing original in this town. Everything is a copycat from another city and it is usually a bad representation of the original. I’m tired of paying the highest prices for food in the United States and getting mediocre food at best. There are awesome restaurants scattered in between the crap. B&B, Joel Robuchon at the Mansion, Monta, Bouchon, Michael Mina, Lotus of Siam, Vintner Grill, Raku, Jaleo, Carnevino, to name a few of my favorites. I know the strip is tourist driven, but the lack of originality and technical skill escapes me. Comme Ça, Sushi Samba, Stack, Olives, Mesa Grill, Emeril’s Fish House, Fix, Lakeside Grill to name a few, are horrible restaurants and if stupid tourists with dumb downed palates weren’t here everyday, they would fail. I take both food and service in account of my reviews of these establishments.

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Dear ELV,

I’m an irregular follower of yours. I’ve seen you on Iron Chef, caught your show on the radio and read some of your stuff here and there. You seem to me to be one of the more accessible and sensible of the food critics out there.

My wife and I ate at Craftsteak last weekend and as much as I like Tom Colicchio on Top Chef and wanted our 400.00 dollar dinner to be the best we’ve ever had, it was terrible.

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ELV note: In a recent Battle of the ELV Steves, Steve #1 offered this pungent critique of ELV’s methodology:

Dear ELV,

(You should) (a)ct like a real critic, stay under the radar, quit accepting comps, and give us real reviews. Jose Andres restaurants in DC are overrated, crap except for the experience at minibar, STK is a corporate conglomerate giving us loud music and the same steakhouse experience as, well, any steakhouse, and Milos, while great, is getting some Greek love because its the only game in town.

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Loyal reader, galloping Egullet gourmand,  favorite foodie friend and curious connoisseur commenter David Ross writes:

Dear ELV,

Why is it so hard for restaurants to make a good Caesar salad?

Signed,

Seriously Seeking Caesar

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ELV note: Occasional commenter rideslowLV recently rode into our restaurant round-table roustabout with this well-reasoned(?) retort:

This shit is getting real gay…. half you bitches talk about the death of French food in Vegas. Go to Andres at the Monte Carlo and taste the BEST french food in Las Vegas. you idiots have no clue. GFX knows what up!!!
But john curtas wont tell you how good that is, because he is not humble enough to just shut the fuck up and enjoy a top notch meal. Pure White Trash.

French cuisine with its NEW SCHOOL twists has just begun. All you bitches talking about club crowds and revenue, you have no clue what a restaurant should pull monthly, budget allowances, etc.

Look at Jet Tila, that fool is kicking ass, sinatra is kicking ass, SW is still in the top 5 steakhouses in Las Vegas.

You guys are all bitches, and seriously if you dine the way you act on this blog, keep your fucking money or throw it into a machine and save the bullshit for the McDonalds drive thru. Your all white trash.

Signed,

Buncha C*NT$

ELV responds:

Eating Las Vegas has one and only one rule regarding censorship of comments made to this site: No witless profanity and no personal attacks on other commenters or individuals mentioned. (Okay, that’s two, but we never could count…that’s why we went to law school.)

Everything else is fair game, including personal attacks/criticisms of ELV –  because we’re a big boy and because a critic needs to be able take as well as dish it out — and because critiquing the critic is half the raison d’etre of this site.

ELV doubts rideslowLV grasps these concepts, as we’re guessing he’s a line cook who thinks he’s hot stuff, regardless of never having traveled east of Vegas or north of Bakersfield.

Regardless, this comment/opinion came close to the line, but we at ELV thought our bitch, gay, white trash readership might appreciate the wealth of insight contained therein.

Bitch-i-ly yours,

ELV