Author: John Curtas

Social Media Meltdown on News 88.9 FM KNPR – Nevada Public Radio

In case you missed it, click here to hear ELV’s commentary of last Thursday about his various adventures in the social media world, delivered in the lyrical, lofty, heroic, sublime, epic and eloquent tones for which he is known.

And a free holiday turkey to anyone who guesses the name of that marvel of Mediterranean mediocrity from which ELV has been forever banned. Hint: Its initials are Paymon’s Downtown Mediterranean. (KNPR didn’t want me bear-baiting the notoriously cheesecloth-skinned owner, but ELV considers it his civic duty to call a spade a spade* on his own website.)

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* “Anyone who calls a spade a spade should be forced to use one.” – Oscar Wilde

CARNEVINO Lunch ex post facto Conversation

The Food Gal™ : So where did you go to lunch today ELV?

ELV: Why, I went to Carnevino.

The Food Gal: Did you have meat?

ELV (sheepishly): Well kinda…if you can call a steak and egg sandwich, topped with three different eggs (quail, duck and chicken) and a house-cured pastrami on some excellent Bon Bakery Bread, meat eating.

The Food Gal: What happened to your pledge to forgo beef…or at least cut way back on it? The whole sustainable, carbon-footprint, going green thing and all that?

ELV: I don’t know…it was like I walked through the doors and some strange, extraterrestrial, beef-eating force consumed my body and I was powerless to resist the addictive allure of aged beef…It’s f*cking evil I tell you! Someone needs to stop it!

The Food Gal: Who chose the restaurant?

ELV: Uh…I did….but that’s beside the point I tell you! Why aren’t you listening to me?

The Food Gal: You probably drank too, didn’t you?

ELV: Of course I drank…it’s C-a-r-n-e-V-I-N-O after all. It would be a sin not to. Mario (Batali) and Joe (Bastianich) would never forgive me…

The Food Gal: Well, as long as you didn’t invite me to lunch, do tell, what wine didn’t I get to try?

ELV: As long as you asked, a smooth, deep and mellow Ca’ Marcanda Promis — a merlot-based beauty from Gaja ($125).

The Food Gal: Is this the same “Gaja” from yesterday? The Italian knockout that you conveniently forgot to tell me you were having lunch with?

ELV: Boy, you hit that nail on the head. Those nebbiolos yesterday knocked me out in more ways than one…

The Food Gal: That’s not what I’m talking about.

My lunch for two (with a mysterious femme fatale and $125 bottle of wine and a smattering of the first white truffles of the season) came to a lot more $$$ than The Food Gal ™ wanted me to spend.*

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* Something tells ELV it’s gonna be a no nooky night.