Tattoos are the mullets of the early aughts. Unlike mullets however, tattoos are there for life. And with a mullet, you can always get a haircut to rid yourself of your bad taste. Also, mullets, as red-neck-y and idiotic as they were, never caused anyone to lose their appetite.
Nose rings are just as bad as tatts, if not worse. They never made much sense to ELV until he heard (read? experienced?) that their function (besides making women look like cattle), was to enhance (as in: provide metallic stimulation during) the act of fellatio or cunnilingus (Eating Las Vegas® note: ELV has always been a cunning linguist….but has no desire to look like a farm animal to prove it.)
But to each his own, we say….until breakfast is involved. Because just as your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins, so does your right to look like shite end when you sit within my sight lines…as I try to enjoy some corned beef hash and crême brûlée french toast to start the day.
Because the last thing ELV wants to think about during breakfast is that girl giving that guy head.
That is all.