Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s….ELV!

Yes, ELV. Strange visitor from another (gastronomic) planet who came to Earth with (tasting) powers and (eating) abilities far beyond those of mortal men. ELV — who can change the course of mighty rivers (of good wine by drinking them dry), bend steel (head salmon) in his bare hands, and who, disguised as John A. Curtas, a (not so) mild-mannered attorney for a great metropolitan law firm (Armstrong Teasdale), fights a never ending battle for Truth (in restaurant advertising), Justice (to all bad burgers) , and the American Way!

Those cruising down Las Vegas Boulevard South these days might be surprised to find the well-fed visage and stentorian chords of ELV accosting them from a Caesars Palace JumboTron. So jarring is it to some, that we thought an explanation was in order. So here is our first (and perhaps last) FAQ sheet for ELV:

> The commercial was filmed last summer at Bradley Ogden in Caesars Palace.

> It features the boffo bar burger at Ogden’s — an ethereal piece of ground beef that ELV introduced Alan Richman to last May.

> No money changed hands.

> ELV did get a free burger from the deal (actually, a couple, due to retakes).

> The opinions expressed therein were publicized long before anyone approached me or A. R. about using our devastatingly handsome faces as pitchmen for their product.

> Richman featured this burger in January’s GQ magazine as “The Best Burger I’ve Had All Year.”

> Despite how he may look in a couple of the snaps above, ELV didn’t and doesn’t feel like punching anyone when he describes how tasty the B.O. Bar Burger is.

> Marcella Ruth Schroader Curtas of Athens, Georgia (The Official Mother Of ELV), is bursting with pride now that her baby boy has shared a marquee with Cher, Bette Midler, and Elton John.

> The white suit was tailor-made for us in Hong Kong. Our waistline was custom-made by the chefs of Las Vegas.

8 thoughts on “Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s….ELV!

  1. Wow. How cool is this! Your image comes alive on the Las Vegas Strip. You are now in the company of Frank, Dean, Sammy and Elvis!

  2. As the producer/writer/director of said spot, when Hollywood comes calling, I want a kick-back.

  3. Dear Mr. Curtas,

    A correction, if you don’t mind.

    You did not actually “introduce” me to the burger, although I will admit that I would not have known about it had you not written about it first. I believe that you might want to take credit for introducing me to Colonel Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is all I can think about when I see you in that white suit.

  4. Details…details….all ELV knows is that AR looks great munching on the BO Burger, whilst he looks like an angry, pudgy, Ricardo Montablan-wannabe.

  5. I nearly crashed my car – when I saw this. I knew there was a way to scare away the dudes with the escort flyers ..brilliant !

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