Yes, ELV. Strange visitor from another (gastronomic) planet who came to Earth with (tasting) powers and (eating) abilities far beyond those of mortal men. ELV — who can change the course of mighty rivers (of good wine by drinking them dry), bend steel (head salmon) in his bare hands, and who, disguised as John A. Curtas, a (not so) mild-mannered attorney for a great metropolitan law firm (Armstrong Teasdale), fights a never ending battle for Truth (in restaurant advertising), Justice (to all bad burgers) , and the American Way!
Those cruising down Las Vegas Boulevard South these days might be surprised to find the well-fed visage and stentorian chords of ELV accosting them from a Caesars Palace JumboTron. So jarring is it to some, that we thought an explanation was in order. So here is our first (and perhaps last) FAQ sheet for ELV:
> The commercial was filmed last summer at Bradley Ogden in Caesars Palace.
> It features the boffo bar burger at Ogden’s — an ethereal piece of ground beef that ELV introduced Alan Richman to last May.
> No money changed hands.
> ELV did get a free burger from the deal (actually, a couple, due to retakes).
> The opinions expressed therein were publicized long before anyone approached me or A. R. about using our devastatingly handsome faces as pitchmen for their product.
> Richman featured this burger in January’s GQ magazine as “The Best Burger I’ve Had All Year.”
> Despite how he may look in a couple of the snaps above, ELV didn’t and doesn’t feel like punching anyone when he describes how tasty the B.O. Bar Burger is.
> Marcella Ruth Schroader Curtas of Athens, Georgia (The Official Mother Of ELV), is bursting with pride now that her baby boy has shared a marquee with Cher, Bette Midler, and Elton John.
> The white suit was tailor-made for us in Hong Kong. Our waistline was custom-made by the chefs of Las Vegas.
The bigtime! Very cool.
Wow. How cool is this! Your image comes alive on the Las Vegas Strip. You are now in the company of Frank, Dean, Sammy and Elvis!
As the producer/writer/director of said spot, when Hollywood comes calling, I want a kick-back.
Dear Mr. Curtas,
A correction, if you don’t mind.
You did not actually “introduce” me to the burger, although I will admit that I would not have known about it had you not written about it first. I believe that you might want to take credit for introducing me to Colonel Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is all I can think about when I see you in that white suit.
Details…details….all ELV knows is that AR looks great munching on the BO Burger, whilst he looks like an angry, pudgy, Ricardo Montablan-wannabe.
Hello. Great job. This is a great story. Thanks!
You made some good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree with your blog.
I nearly crashed my car – when I saw this. I knew there was a way to scare away the dudes with the escort flyers ..brilliant !