The Hater’s Guide to Football

ELV note: We ran this item last year, and, if anything, everything we wrote then is even more relevant now. For those of you who will protest with comments like:  “This is a restaurant Web site, why are you writing about other things? Blah, blah, blah…” (and believe us, we get a number of them), all we can say is: This is ELV! He writes about what he wants when he wants, and hopes you enjoy the ride. If you don’t, remember our solemn pledge to our loyal readers: All opinions guaranteed or your money back!


Most professional athletes are assholes pretending to be nice guys. – Mike Lupica

When Oscar Wilde said: “Seriousness is the last refuge of the shallow,” he must have been thinking about Roger Goodell. – ELV

Between its tin-pot nationalism, greedy, billionaire owners, corrupt colleges, and players (who are either absolute assholes or brain-damaged morons) it’s getting easier and easier to loathe everything about football. Below is a primer for those who are either unaware of its idiocies, or who turn a blind eye to the stupefying witlessness of the game, and the shameless arrogance of those who bring it into our living rooms.

Continue reading “The Hater’s Guide to Football”

Foie Gras Foolishness

Last week, the Chicago Board of Alderman abolished their absurd ban on the serving of fattened goose and duck livers. Coincidentally, Esquire Magazine’s John Mariani sent me his Nov. ’07  Esquire article two days ago exploding all of the myths and stupidity surrounding this “controversial” foodstuff.

Click here to read Mariani’s article.

And if, after reading it, you still feel an uncontrollable urge to protest man’s inhumanity (sic) towards the animals we eat, I’d suggest starting with hamburgers and Chicken McNuggets.