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In case the fact that Sonio’s Cafe is, hands down, the most charm-free eatery in all of Las Vegas — serving food of astounding mediocrity* — isn’t enough, its owners see fit to greet you with this friendly reminder and enticing signage** right before you step foot on the premises.

Fairness in advertising would suggest that the sign should also warn you that the food tastes like it’s being cooked by Smith & Wesson too.

Fair warning is also necessary to dissuade you from buying a jar of Uncle Teddy’s** Giardenerra(sic) “G”:

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An oily (in an industrialized, hydrogenated greasy way), under-seasoned, barely-spicy and poorly-chopped mess, it tastes like something a bad home cook would throw together as an afterthought.

Like all the food here, it is a testament to cheap ingredients badly treated.

And that’s about all the time we’re ever going to waste on…

SONIO’S CAFE***

3900 West Charleston Blvd.

Las Vegas, NV 89102

702.307.2177

https://www.facebook.com/Sonioscafe

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* ELV is being kind.

** 8 to 5 has it that “Uncle Teddy” is a horse’s ass.

*** That gang of idiots over at Yelp, however, really, really like it.