My dinners have never interfered with my business. They have been my recreation…A public banquet (dinner), if eaten with thought and care, is no more of a strain than a dinner at home. – Chauncey DePew (1834-1928)

Dining out is a vice. A dissipation of spirit punished by remorse. – Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave (1944)

Why should so vast a national expenditure be left entirely to chance? – Duncan Hines, Adventures in Good Eating (1936)

Rain is good for vegetables, and for the animals who eat those vegetables, and for the animals who eat those animals. – Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784

Persons living entirely on vegetables are seldom of plump and succulent habit. – William Cullen, 1710-1790

Vegetarians have wicked, shifty eyes, and laugh in a cold and calculating manner. They pinch little children, steal stamps, drink water, favour beards…wheeze, squeak, drawl and maunder… – J. B. Morton, 1893-1979

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They’re there every night, they see it done every night, they see how should be done every night, but they can’t do it themselves. – Brendan Behan

Critics are like eunuchs at a gang bang. – George Burns

A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car. – Kenneth Tynan