Letter of the Week – What to do with Rugrats?

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Dear ELV,

My wife and I have a 1 year-old little girl. Occasionally, we get a babysitter and are able to dine without the wee one. However, more likely is that we’ll have her in tow with us. This is especially true if we’re traveling. My question to you is how does one judge whether or not it is appropriate to bring a child into a restaurant. Some restaurants are obvious, but there are plenty of places that aren’t clearly fine dining. My rule of thumb so far has been to simply call and ask. Of course, you’re a bit removed from such experiences, but I still assume that you have an opinion on the subject since you seem to have an opinion on most things.

P.S. If you haven’t been, you should check out the Baguette Cafe. It’s a pleasant place with delicious yuppie sandwiches.

Thanks,

Perplexed-Yet-Parental Paul

ELV responds:

Dear PP,

As a reformed yuppie, ELV is well known for his position that all children should be kept in well-guarded, solitary confinement cages… at least until the age of ten. Even then, letting them out of the house is a crap-shoot. What if they get molested or kidnapped, or even worse, interfere with MY ENJOYMENT of my meal?

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