WTF?

Would someone please explain to us what this wacky billboard means?

For those with sketchy eyesight, the giant board on Paradise Road reads: “HATE THE SIN. LOVE THE SINNER.” Gandhi Indian Bistro Unveiling 2009.

And if you think that’s weird, try this on for size: http://www.gandhilv.com/

And after viewing them both, please tell ELV:

What does any of this have to do with Indian food?

Or Gandhi?

Or Gandhi the Indian restaurant on Flamingo Road?

Or is it some oddball, Hindu thing?

And what the heck is an Indian “bistro” anyway?

Inquiring minds want to know.

All we can think of when we look at these is: how bizarre, how bizarre, and if we don’t get an answer soon, ELV has half a mind to go chow down on one of these.

This Just In….Forgione Out At Wynn. Some Guy Named Lefebvre Also Leaves.

Larry Forgione, the iconic American chef who invented free-range chicken (both the concept on restaurant menus and the word), and who was a proponent of farm-to-table, organic, healthful, American, locavore eating 25 years before most folks had ever heard of the concepts — has parted ways with the Wynn Hotel.

ELV knew sumpin’ was up over the past few months as he was hearing nuthin’ from Wynn about the (previously) much touted launch of a Forgione-signature restaurant in the Tableau space there. We bid au revoir to Larry and wish him well, whatever the circumstances of his departure.

As for Ludovic Lefebvfre leaving Lavo (yawn)…ELV couldn’t care less.

The reason ELV doesn’t drink the Kool-Aid when it comes to guys like Lefebvre is we know that they’re not here for the long run, and are only padding their bank accounts and/or their resumes. The fact that LL cooked mediocre food in the process for a bunch of credulous tourists and hotel executives, didn’t exactly enhance his stature in our eyes either.

And of course, he knows this, and his restaurant publicists know it too, and know that we know it. And we know they know that we know it; yet they persist in trying to get ELV and his staff interested someone who’ll probably knock around half a dozen venues in SoCal before someone recognizes his genius.

Give us one Forgione over a dozen Lefebvres any day. At least Larry, like Louis Osteen before him, was trying to do something special. Lefebvre was just cashing a check.

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s….ELV!

Yes, ELV. Strange visitor from another (gastronomic) planet who came to Earth with (tasting) powers and (eating) abilities far beyond those of mortal men. ELV — who can change the course of mighty rivers (of good wine by drinking them dry), bend steel (head salmon) in his bare hands, and who, disguised as John A. Curtas, a (not so) mild-mannered attorney for a great metropolitan law firm (Armstrong Teasdale), fights a never ending battle for Truth (in restaurant advertising), Justice (to all bad burgers) , and the American Way!

Those cruising down Las Vegas Boulevard South these days might be surprised to find the well-fed visage and stentorian chords of ELV accosting them from a Caesars Palace JumboTron. So jarring is it to some, that we thought an explanation was in order. So here is our first (and perhaps last) FAQ sheet for ELV:

> The commercial was filmed last summer at Bradley Ogden in Caesars Palace.

> It features the boffo bar burger at Ogden’s — an ethereal piece of ground beef that ELV introduced Alan Richman to last May.

> No money changed hands.

> ELV did get a free burger from the deal (actually, a couple, due to retakes).

> The opinions expressed therein were publicized long before anyone approached me or A. R. about using our devastatingly handsome faces as pitchmen for their product.

> Richman featured this burger in January’s GQ magazine as “The Best Burger I’ve Had All Year.”

> Despite how he may look in a couple of the snaps above, ELV didn’t and doesn’t feel like punching anyone when he describes how tasty the B.O. Bar Burger is.

> Marcella Ruth Schroader Curtas of Athens, Georgia (The Official Mother Of ELV), is bursting with pride now that her baby boy has shared a marquee with Cher, Bette Midler, and Elton John.

> The white suit was tailor-made for us in Hong Kong. Our waistline was custom-made by the chefs of Las Vegas.