Category: Letter of the Week

Letter of the Week

Facebook friend Ronald writes in with a classic query in the world of hirsute hospitality:*

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Hello John:

I have a question.  My wife and I dined at Andre’s @ Monte Carlo last night, as the restaurant was near empty, the dinner was going great until my wife found a hair in her duck entree, the server came by and asked if everything was o.k., my wife tells him about the hair, they asked to redo it, but my wife said no, and wanted nothing else.

How should this been handled, I’m at a loss ? Thank You !

You’re The Best BTW !

Hygienically yours,

Ralphing Ronald

ELV responded thusly:

The restaurant  should wisk the plate away immediately, and offer to re-do the entry….or offer the diner a different entree selection — and not charge them for the re-done dish. If you decline the offer and wish to skip the course entirely (out of either nausea or distrust of the kitchen), they should take the charge off the bill and comp at least another main dish for the table or desserts for the table. In a high end establishment, a free round of drinks or wine should also be offered.

The reason this particular establishment didn’t do so stems from the owner’s personality, which is (how do we put this delicately?) not exactly a wellspring of charm and generosity. Unlike yourself, he has never recognized the genius and unmatched excellence of ELV.

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* Diner: Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

Waiter: The backstroke.

Letter of the Week – An Open Letter to the Overly Ambitious

The trouble with empire-building chefs is, they want the same level of respect and adoration for their tenth restaurant as they got for their first one. – ELV
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Dear ELV,

You used to love my restaurant, but ever since we expanded to multiple locations, you have gone out of your way to ignore us, and, even worse, to diss our operation at every turn. I know you had a bad experience lately, and we know we dropped the ball, but won’t you give us another chance?

Signed,

Eagerly Awaiting Redemption

Dear Overly Eager,

Here is the problem: good restaurants and chefs and owners build up a level of trust, affection and respect with the public and press when they are pouring all their energy into the excellence of their product.

Then, they often get bored, switch gears, seek expansion, try to get rich, or do a variety of things to keep their heads and wallets in the game. When that happens (and it happens much to soon and with alarming frequency with American chefs and restaurateurs) the same level of devotion starts to fade.

What replaces it is a devotion to making money.

Continue reading “Letter of the Week – An Open Letter to the Overly Ambitious”

Letter of the Week – Incensed Over Ice (Water)

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ELV note: Some may feel “Mr. IAIOI” has gone a bit “Dog Day Afternoon” or “Falling Down” over this problem, but it will be 117 degrees in the shade today, so we will leave it to our loyal readers to put it all in perspective.

Mr. Curtas,
With your wide reader base, many of which are actual restauranteurs, maybe you can address this immensely prevalent problem and get it solved.

The following is a synopsis of what happened at four restaurants in the last two weeks (each time it was a female server, so maybe it’s an estrogen fear of ice).
Each time, it was the same ARGUMENT to try and get ICE in my drink!
The “offenders” were: Firkin On Paradise, Blueberry Hill Family restaurant, Riv Buffet, and Gordon Ramsay!

Continue reading “Letter of the Week – Incensed Over Ice (Water)”