John Curtas is …

Food

Fast Food banned!

In a move that we at ELV don’t know whether to agree or disagree with, the City Council of Los Angeles has voted to impose a ban on fast food franchises in the poorer parts of South Central LA. Read the SLATE article on this topic here.

On the one hand, we’ve seen the urban blight caused by cheap proteins and carbohydrates that the burger, pizza and taco franchises push like drug dealers to the poor and uneducated..not to mention to customers like this. On the other hand, it chaps our semi-libertarian ass to think government can legislate our food choices.

Therefore, in the spirit of non-partisanship (and political cowardice) for which ELV is famous, we hereby decline to take a stand on these taco/pizza/burger stands, and will observe the political fallout (carnage/leftovers/burnt ends?) from this development from a safe distance.

Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my closeup…

Or how one itsy bitsy opinion led to my (short-lived) career as a pitchman.

Yes, the following video is me shamelessly shilling for the Bradley Ogden Burger (AKA The Best Burger in Vegas). And no, I didn’t get paid a nickel for doing the commercial. I did it because I believe in the excellence of the product (as does our buddy Alan Richman), and because uber-pr-dude Ken Langdon asked me to.

The following are snaps of the production in progress, followed by the finished product to be aired on the Caesars Palace in-room television network.

And before you say it, ELV is quite aware that he has a face made for radio, and a body that should be covered in as much 120’s wool as possible. We also realize that Affleck and Damon aren’t exactly losing sleep over having Richman and Curtas as their competition.

FYI: the Travolta-meets-Tom Wolfe-duds are from Hong Kong, the shirt is from Thomas Pink, and the tie is Zegna….and I paid for them too. The staff at ELV will take any and all requests for: cameos, starring roles, its own reality show, autobiographical details and autographs as received – as soon as she learns to speak English.

The Commercial (6MB — right click to save-as for a faster download)

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