There is no such thing as “fresh food.” All food, by the time you eat it, is either dead or dying. – Gregg Easterbrook

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. – Robert Benchley

Beer is not a good cocktail party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is. – Billy Carter (1977)