Author: John Curtas

Esquire Magazine’s Top 20 Steaks + Unnatural thoughts on the Wagyu

We at ELV are omnivores in the purest sense of the word. But our time as beef eaters may be coming to an end, if the soothsayers at Esquire Magazine (among them our pal John Mariani) are to be believed.

And no matter what your opinion of meat eating — this article by Tom Junod (in the current issue) will make you reconsider what you think about consuming beef cattle — especially the super premium ones.* In it, Junod compares the funkiness of an aged, American Wagyu porterhouse to a French whore’s armpit.

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APPLEBEE’S

ELV usually doesn’t eat at possessive restaurants (Applebee’s, Chili’s, T.G.I. Friday’s, et al), but occasionally his staff does. To us, they symbolize all that is wrong with eating and eating out in America. The faux homey-ness, prepackaged protein, mass-marketed fat, carbs and sugar are revolting to anyone who cares about what they put in their bodies. And that preternatural cheeriness and forced fun is cheesy beyond belief. But as we all know, cheesiness (in all its forms) is what sells food to A-mur-i-cans.

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