Author: John Curtas

Restaurant Week 2009 – Another Shameless Plug For ThreeSquare

We say “shameless” because unlike giving you his insights on the Las Vegas restaurant scene in the erudite, incisive, analytical, ironic, witty and nonpareil prose for which he is known, ELV has decided to print these (worthwhile) press releases verbatim, in an effort to save his rapier-like wit for more fitting subjects, and in hopes of inspiring you to attend as many of these restaurants and events as possible in the coming week. So here it is:

Continue reading “Restaurant Week 2009 – Another Shameless Plug For ThreeSquare”

J & J SZECHUAN – Crispy Intestines…..Yummm!

We at ELV love eating Asian. And we really love the hot, spicy, mind-numbing, tear-duct-blowing, sweat-flowing cuisines of Hunan, Yunnan, and Szechuan.

For the past two years, Dong Ting Spring and Yunnan Garden have held sway over our taste buds. Before they arrived, we were regulars at Emperor’s Szechuan atop the old Chinatown Mall.

But these days our ardor has shifted to this little joint, underneath a shitty sign, tucked behind Pho Saigon #8 on Spring Mountain Road, where a dish of crispy intestines, accompanied by some cold cucumber with garlic, edamame bean salad, green peppers in a “special sauce,” and a mango shaved ice, recently set our staff back only thirty-five samolians (or “simoleons” according to Marcella Ruth Schroader Curtas – D.O.B. 8-10-24 – The Official Mother Of ELV).

Those (small) intestines are deep-fried, then get a quick toss with some other ingredients — cucumbers and a mountain of dried peppers — and are first crunchy, then squishy to the bite. They come to the table imbued with a deep, satisfying, animal-richness (but, we might add, with none of the funkiness).

We’re not quite sure what the point is of the tasteless panko crumbs on top, but they don’t detract from the awfully addictive quality of this offal.

Other worthwhile dishes tried include the shredded pork with pickled pepper, and the Szechuan-style sliced lamb. We haven’t gotten the guts (yet) to tuck into the pork blood with bean sprout in hot sauce, but give us time.

Another thing we like about these southwestern Chinese restaurants is there’s none of that: “How would you like your hotness on a 1 to 5 or 1 to 10 scale?” namby pamby stuff. They cook it and you eat it the way the homeboys do.

So man up! And take the plunge….into some chicken gizzards with pickled peppers. And when your mouth is confused and suffering from the pain and numbness from all those chilies and Szechuan peppercorns, there’s no better antidote than a giant mango shaved ice.

Our meal for two described above set us back 35 dinars + a 7 ariary tip.

J & J SZECHUAN CUISINE

5700 Spring Mountain Rd. #A-B

Las Vegas, NV 89146

702.876.5983

Portland, Oregon Needs More Cowbell…

Portland is about as different from Vegas as a place can get.

It is a bizarre confluence of grunge meets cutting edge.

With so many people walking around in shades of brown and gray it looks like a human mushroom farm.

But they have really groovy public transportation.

And an art and culture scene.

But the ratio of bums to pedestrians seems like about 1 to 1.

And the people are so f*cking politically correct that every time we sneezed, we looked around to see who we were offending.

But micro-brews are everywhere.

As are Burgundian-style pinot noirs.

And it’s Will-AM-ette, dammit.

This area is probably the most fertile, locavore-friendly, micro-climate-rich, top-to-bottom cornucopia of food, seafood, fish, shellfish, meats, cheeses, vegetables and herbs anywhere in America — including California and the east coast.

Even if it is a short growing season.

But all that urban planning, and liberal correctness, and hipster-meets-urbanite vibe left us feeling more than a bit constrained.

And claustrophobic.

So after three days of walking the city and eating and drinking ourselves silly, all we can say is this:

Basically…

…Portland has a lot to offer…

…but what it needs…

…more than anything else…

…is more cowbell.