JALEO on Saturday Night

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Eating Las Vegas knows not if the clippy cloppy-heeled crowd help a hotel’s bottom line…but on any given weekend evening, the third floor of The Cosmopolitan is crawling with them. Strolling through there last Saturday night, we counted no less than eight tables of six or more young women at Jaleoall dressed astonishingly alike — celebrating something or other with those high-pitched cackles and shrieks in which they can’t help but communicate.

Were he twenty years younger, ELV would’ve considered it a target-rich environment, but at his age, all he could do is feel sorry for the waitstaff.

SETTEBELLO Remains Surpassingly Superior

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On the rare occasion when ELV is forced to venture over one mile east of the Strip, that very fact has been known to throw him into a dithering tailspin. Something akin to the heebie jeebies crossed with snarling disgust, if you will. Between the characterless “neighborhoods,” poor planning (“let’s put all our retail on a single, bottle-necked road”), insane traffic, monochromatic houses, and dearth of  good eats, he is one unhappy camper whenever even the thought of traveling toward Sunset and Sunset crosses his mind. (For the uninitiated, there is truly an intersection denoted as such – yet another testament to the lame brains we elect.)

Downtown Henderson and Boulder City have their charms, but there’s no disguising the fact that there’s no good place to eat in either of them.

To be fair, a few gems exist among the zircons in this gastronomic wasteland; Todd’s is a treat, Valley Cheese and Wine is always winning, Hank’s and Bratalian are top notch, and Crazy Pita and King’s do a credible job catering to the less-than-cosmopolitan crowds. But if there’s one place that’s surpassingly superior, and succulently supreme, it is Settebello — a purveyor of Neapolitan perfection amidst this perennial, perceived, pervasive paucity, causing all others to pale before the pulchritude of its pies.

Just look at those tasty snaps above. If they don’t make your mouth water, perhaps you should prod your person for your parsimonious pulse.

ELV’s meal above, with an expensive-but-worth-it Italian craft beer (Friska), and a soda, came to $47.

SETTEBELLO PIZZERIA

140 South Green Valley Parkway

Henderson, NV 89012

702.222.3556

www.settebello.net