I’d like to start off my writings here on a humorous note. Don’t worry, proper reviews are just over the next ridge, but maybe we get to know each other first? Take a seat. How are the kids? Is little Jayden still in lacrosse? How nice.
I wrote this a while back when everyone and their adorably-naive grandmothers were writing articles about Olive Garden for laughs. I actually really like to write comedy, so I did it, and people seemed to like it. Enjoy it, won’t you? Thank you.
– your pal, Mitchell Wilburn
In retrospect of my last birthday fun-times, I realized the potential for an interesting article comparing the two dinners and dining establishments I made merry. So what I thought I’d do is parse out my thoughts, pull an article together, people read it and laugh, I become rich and famous overnight, retire in the Bahamas, you know, that old chestnut. So, that private nude beach is waiting – let’s get cracking.
- Pictured: Palace of woes
I thought the best way to compare the two is to set up some kind of metric that would compare their common features. What do they share? How do they differ? What are all those fancy Stars and Forbes ratings REALLY about? Well, I decided on the categories of decor, service, and food. I couldn’t properly compare some things that the Olive Garden has a monopoly on, so there is no category for senior discounts or all you can eat deals.