ELV note: Here is the link to this article as it appears today (in somewhat truncated/adulterated/less colorful form) in the Las Vegas Weekly. Or read on if you want to make things easier (and funnier) on yourselves.
Hawaiian people eat so much white food, it’s a wonder their bowels ever move.
It’s almost as if white were the state color for victuals of all kinds.
Macaroni salad comes with everything. Ditto white rice. Kaluha pig is nothing more than a heap o’ white shredded pork sitting atop, you guessed it, a pile of white cabbage; the state “sushi” (something called musubi) is a giant slab of spam on a giant slab of firmly compacted white rice; and a favorite dessert is ….wait for it…a white (no surprise there) slab of practically tasteless coconut jello/pudding called haupia.