Mexican mediocrity

“The trouble with touring in America is constantly having to eat what everybody thinks is Mexican food.” – Lyle Lovett

Like Lyle, I love it – “it” being real Mexican food. And I love all of you. You know I do. Some of ELV’s loyal readers are good friends. Some of you are restaurant professionals. Others are chefs or winos (in the best sense of the word). All of you are serious foodies and/or lovers of good grub and where to find it. But with all due respect for your impeccable taste in all things culinary, and your prescient recognition of excellence in Las Vegas restaurant blogs/websites, I have a modest, respectful request:

QUIT SENDING ME TO MEXICAN RESTAURANTS BECAUSE NONE OF YOU HAVE A CLUE WHAT MAKES A GOOD ONE!

(Pause here for parenthetical explanation before continuing rant)

At the beginning of the year, Nevada Public Radio asked listeners to e-mail in suggestions for where I should dine and review for the coming twelve months. By a margin of 3 to 1, Mexican restaurants took the cake for places I just had to try “…because it’s new and fresh and the owners are real Mexicans (as opposed to fake Mexicans) and we love it and they make great margaritas and we love everything on the menu and you really need to try it!”

(Return to Rant)

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“Chinatown” photo essay

Okay, maybe “photo essay” is a bit pretentious, but the staff at ELV has never been known for its humility, and calling them a bunch of digital snaps we were too lazy to upload when we posted The Chinatown that isn’t (below) doesn’t convey that certain je ne sais quoi for which ELV is known.

There are more than 40 restaurants on the three mile stretch of Spring Mountain Road known as Las Vegas’s Chinatown. I’ve eaten in 34 of them multiple times. The following snaps will give you a “taste” of the real thing.

LAVO – the restaurant as “Bathhouse”

Just when we thought The Palazzo couldn’t get anymore overstocked with swanky, over-designed and overpriced restaurants, comes the announcement that the Tao restaurant/nightclub group will open LAVO – described as a Restaurant/Bathhouse/Nightclub – there in August.

At last view, which was….uh….this past Saturday night, the existing ones that have opened their doors (Table 10, Carnevino, Morel’s, Dos Caminos, Mainland, CUT, Dal Toro, Restaurant Charlie/Bar Charlie et al), are hardly turning them away. Meaning: any party of 4 (and multiple parties of 4) could’ve walked into any of The Palazzo restaurants on a weekend evening and would’ve been seated immediately and received a “thank you very much for coming” from every member of the staff.

Despite reports of strife between the Palazzo and Tao teams (a lawsuit was filed, Shellie Adelson and his henchmen tried to have this Tao beached, bad faith allegations were exchanged), all appears to have been settled. Translation: the Tao boys get to open as planned, and Adelson takes another hit from the press and the courts.

So where will the customers be coming from? Well, it’s a fair bet none of them will be going there for the cuisine of Ludovic Lefebvre. This former top toque at L’Orangerie and Bastide in LaLaLand is one of the most talented chefs on the planet. His small plates menu of Spanish, French and Italian cuisine – served in a space that derives its inspiration from “…the bathhouses of ancient Mediterranean culture…” will no doubt be the equivalent of Yo Yo Ma playing “Turkey in the Straw.”

And why would such a creative, acclaimed chef relegate himself to serving 1,000+ idiotic poseurs a night? You tell me and we’ll both know.*

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* Perhaps he’s been Tourondel’ed to the dark side – named for the ultra-talented Laurent Tourondel – one of the greatest chefs in America – who now devotes those talents to building an empire of superior steakhouses and burger joints.