Category: Reviews

Cornering the Crab Market

ELV normally avoids restaurants with video poker like:

> Donald Trump avoids humility,

> Adam Sandler dodges humor,

> Republicans ignore climate science, and

> Chuck Norris does Buddhism.

He does this because any restaurant with video poker machines is more interested in taking ready cash from slot junkies than it is about the preparation of its food. (Or, as his dear departed dad once said: “Owning any sort of gambling operation is perfect capitalism: it’s a business without a product. They give you money; you give them hope.”)

But there it was, Crab Corner, staring us in the face, and we knew from experience (at this and the sister restaurant across town), that a well-fried hunk o’ lump, Maryland blue crab meat might be just the thing to keep us from getting too crabby. We also remembered Old Bay chips and decent tartar sauce, so we grabbed a table outside (away from the smokey drunks and stupidity around the bar) and dove in. What showed up was as good as you can hope for, 2, 143 miles from the Chesapeake Bay: Continue reading “Cornering the Crab Market”

A Tale of Two Steakhouses

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. – A Tale of Two Cities

In short, late 18th Century France wasn’t that different from today. Superlatives are everywhere, no matter how good or evil something is, be it a Reign of Terror, a beheading here or a Donald Trump there,  Whatever “comparisons” are being made — by “noisy authorities these days” — are made not to educate, but to sell.

Continue reading “A Tale of Two Steakhouses”

Waiter, There’s a HERRINGBONE Stuck in My Throat

Sometimes, you just know too much.

There comes a time when there have been too many meals in too many restaurants over too many decades. So many, in fact, that you can take the measure of a place within minutes of sitting down.

You get to where you can see the wheels turning and hear the exact conversations that went into the concept, the menu, and the cooking.

You get to the point where you spot the corporate calculation in every corner, and all you can do is sigh.

Continue reading “Waiter, There’s a HERRINGBONE Stuck in My Throat”