Category: Reviews

Bad Italian Food Review – ZEFFIRINO’S

The only difference between Italian food in New York and L.A. is, in L.A. your food is made by overworked and underpaid Mexicans, and in New York it’s made by overworked and underpaid Puerto Ricans – Michelle Huneven

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It’s Friday boys and girls, time for another installment of Bad Italian Food Review.

Today’s lecture has Professor ELV in somewhat of a quandary. He would like to get medieval on Zeffirino’s sorry, over-hyped, under-performing, tourist trap ass, but in all fairness, there are things to like about this restaurant. But before he gets to the good, the bad and the ugly, first a short story.

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ALOHA SPECIALTIES in Las Vegas Weekly

ELV note: Here is the link to this article as it appears today (in somewhat truncated/adulterated/less colorful form) in the Las Vegas Weekly. Or read on if you want to make things easier (and funnier) on yourselves.

ALOHA SPECIALTIES

Hawaiian people eat so much white food, it’s a wonder their bowels ever move.

It’s almost as if white were the state color for victuals of all kinds.

Macaroni salad comes with everything. Ditto white rice. Kaluha pig is nothing more than a heap o’ white shredded pork sitting atop, you guessed it, a pile of white cabbage; the state “sushi” (something called musubi) is a giant slab of spam on a giant slab of firmly compacted white rice; and a favorite dessert is ….wait for it…a white (no surprise there) slab of practically tasteless coconut jello/pudding called haupia.

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