Category: Major awards

The 2013 Johnnies Continued….

DUMBEST IDEA OF THE YEAR – The “Butcher Shop” at Echo & Rig

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The thing about Echo & Rig is, the whole place is a big con. Everything about it promises to be something much better than it actually is —  with the meat market out front being the best example. Everything from the slabs of dead protein to the slick, highly designed interior of this customized “butcher shop” advertises the presence of superior beef being properly handled by masters of meat. In reality, you’re getting a few low end steaks (if you eat in), and some supermarket-level cuts from the shop (if you want to take some steaks home).

Continue reading “The 2013 Johnnies Continued….”

The 2013 Johnnies Continued…

TASTING MENU OF THE YEAR – Nobu

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Tasting menus (does anyone call them degustation menus anymore?) seem to be going  the way of the tastevin and the tasseled wine list (and not a moment too soon, we might add), but this one at the teppanyaki tables of Nobu was a stunner. From the o-toro tartare to the A-5 Japanese wagyu to the selection of sakes, this is panoply of perfection is to Benihana what a Vermeer is to a velvet Elvis.

CHEESIEST CHEESE PLATTER OF 2013 – Sweets Raku

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Move over Robuchon. Settle back into second Savoy. Get over it Gagnaire. Because as well-chosen and beautifully presented as your plats de fromage are, they can’t hold a candle to the fun and fresh take given to the art of the curdled curd by our newest (and only) Japanese/French dessert bar. Apples to oranges you say? Perhaps, but the crispy mille feuille sticks would no doubt win applause from Philippe Angibeau, and the presentation is as delicious as the whipped Roquefort.

SWEETEST SWEETS OF THE YEAR (tie) – Sweets Raku and Art of Flavors Gelateria

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Shhhhhh. Don’t tell the Food Gal® but ELV has a thing for female pastry chefs. And between Mio Ogasawara and Desyreé Albergati, he fell in love a lot this year. Because of their passion-infused operations, desserts in the ‘burbs took a giant leap forward, and for the first time in like….forever…those seeking the best of the best in all things sweet and sophisticated, no longer have to venture to the Strip.

Is this the end of the 2013 Johnnies? Far from it. But ELV and his staff have festivities to attend, gifts to exchange and movies to watch. Tune in daily right through the end of the year and you’ll be treated to a continuing stream of such worthy Major Awards as:

MOST DISGUSTING DISH OF THE YEAR

BEST SINGLE BITE OF FOOD OF THE YEAR

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF 2013

CHEF OF THE YEAR

RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR

DUMBEST IDEA OF THE YEAR,

and the eagerly awaited award for:

BEST RESTAURANT THAT’S CLOSEST TO MY HOUSE.

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The 2013 Johnnies Continued…

Osso buco of the Year – Ferraro’s

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Gino and Mimmo Ferraro may not be the most inventive guys on the planet, but their restaurant delivers solid, hearty Italian classics as well as any in town. For years they’ve been famous for their osso buco, for good reason. Theirs is a fork tender, wine-infused, rib-sticking delight that has just the right among of tomato-y tang in the sauce. The nutty little side of saffron-tinged farro lightens up the dish in a way a helping of risotto Milanese would not. The whole shebang pairs so well with a deep, rich Nebbiolo you’ll think you’re in food-wine heaven. The only way to improve the dish would be with a sprinkling of gremolata, but only purists like yours truly insist upon such things, so that’s why they probably leave it out.

Overdone/Underinspired Ingredient of the Century – Scallops

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Is there anything more disheartening to a true gastronome than seeing a single, basted sea scallop presented to him/her with a great ta-da! by some 20- or- 30-something chef or waitron who thinks they’re dazzling you with something special? Listen up youngsters. Scallops are about as hip as a dickey, and as cliche as shooting fish in a barrel. The reason diners like them is because they let Chuck and Cindy from Bumfudge, Idaho say: “See, we eat seafood, too!” without having to bother with something as real as a piece of fish or something slimy.

The reason chefs like them is because they’re easy to cook and give the veneer of presenting something sophisticated and “gourmet” to the diner that is, in reality, about as sophisticated as fried chicken and gourmet as a ham sandwich. (Nantucket bay scallops are another matter, entirely.)

So chefs of the world, give scallops a rest fer chrissakes. And don’t be surprised if ELV sends his back to the kitchen the next time he’s presented with one.

ZEN MENU OF THE YEAR – Zen Japanese Curry & Toppings

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Ask yourself: Self, when’s the last time I ate food that improved my digestion, aided my perspiration AND deodorized me?

We at ELV can’t vouch for all of the claims made by this little gem of Japanese gourmandia on Spring Mountain Road, but we can tell you it’s damn tasty, criminally cheap, and we always feel better after a meal there.

‘Nuff said.

Is this the end of the 2013 Johnnies? Far from it. But ELV and his staff have Christmas festivities to attend. Tune in daily right through the end of the year and you’ll be treated to a continuing stream of such worthy Major Awards as:

BEST SINGLE BITE OF FOOD OF THE YEAR

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF 2013

CHEF OF THE YEAR

RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR

DUMBEST IDEA OF THE YEAR,

and the eagerly awaited award for:

BEST RESTAURANT THAT’S CLOSEST TO MY HOUSE.

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