Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else….An old wine-bibber, having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured onto his lips to revive him. “Pauillac, ’73,” he murmured and died. – Ambrose Bierce

Most people in California came from somewhere else. They moved to California so they could name their kids Rainbow or Mailbox and purchase tubular Swedish furniture without getting laughed at. It’s a tenet also in California that the fiber of your clothing is equivalent to your moral fiber. Your “lifestyle” (as they say) is your ethic. This means that in California you don’t really have to do anything, except look healthy, think good thoughts and pat yourself on the back about what a good person you are. And the waiters in California want to be called by their first name. I don’t know why. – Ian Shoales

(On the French) They aren’t much at fighting wars anymore. Despite their reputation for fashion, their women have spindly legs. Their music is sappy. But they do know how to whip up a plate of grub. – Mike Royko